Domestic Abuse

Sam Vaknin

Spousal - or domestic - abuse is not a single form of maltreatment. It comprises the entire panoply of abusive behaviors - sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, physical, psychological, and verbal - when they are directed exclusively or mostly at the abuser's spouse, mate, girlfriend, or boyfriend. This raises serious questions: Why is the spouse/mate singled out? What are the dynamics of such a relationship - both overt and covert? Why do the abused remain in the abusive environment? What can be effectively done about such mistreatment - especially when it is impossible to prove?
This topic will attempt to answer these quesstions and provide answers for those seeking information and support.

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Domestic Abuse

Recovery and Healing from Abuse and Trauma

Victims of abuse in all its forms - verbal, emotional, financial, physical, and sexual - are often disorientated. They require not only therapy to heal their emotional wounds, but also practical guidance and topical education. At first, the victim is, naturally, distrustful and even hostile. The therapist or case worker must ...

The Conflicts of Therapy

Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, the survivor will self-mobilize and emerge from the experience more resilient and assertive and less gullible and self-deprecating. But therapy is not always a smooth ride.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

The DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) criteria for diagnosing PTSD are far too restrictive. PTSD seems to also develop in the wake of verbal and emotional abuse and in the aftermath of drawn out traumatic situations (such a nasty divorce). Hopefully, the text will be adapted to reflect this sad reality. ...

How Victims are Affected by Abuse

Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability.

Reforming the Abuser

Abusers are narcissistic and possessed of alloplastic defenses. More simply put, they feel superior, entitled, above any law and agreement, and innocent. Others - usually the victims - are to blame for the abusive conduct ("see what you made me do?").

Inner Child Healing - Book Review

Burney is no intellectual revolutionary. He adheres to the venerable (mostly psychodynamic) tradition of attributing most of our problems as adults to faulty "intellectual programming" and to emotional wounds inflicted on us during childhood. It follows that the solution is simple: get rid of both and you are home-free. Substituting healthy ...

Child Abuse and Recovery - Book Review

Jeavons is a survivor of incest. Courageously, she embarks on an exploration of the multi-faceted phenomenon of child abuse. Correctly, she observes that such unflinching but compassionate personal quests are the first step on the way to healing.

Dysfunctional Relationship Dynamics - A Book Review

Robert Barney, the author of "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" does not fall into the twin traps of stereotype and righteousness.

Coping with Various Types of Stalkers - The Psychopath (Antisocial)

Stalking is a crime and stalkers are criminals. This simple truth is often ignored by mental health practitioners, by law enforcement agencies, and by the media.

Coping with Various Types of Stalkers - The Narcissist

Feels entitled to your time, attention, admiration, and resources. Interprets every rejection as an act of aggression which leads to a narcissistic injury. Reacts with sustained rage and vindictiveness. Can turn violent because he feels omnipotent and immune to the consequences of his actions.

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