Articles related to "Relationship Abuse"
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
How can you tell if a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) relationship is abusive? Read this checklist to find out.
relationship abuse • lgbt relationship abuse • gay relationship abuse • signs of relationship abuse • signs relationship violence • lesbian relationship abuse
How can you tell if a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) relationship is abusive? Read this checklist to find out.
relationship abuse • lgbt relationship abuse • gay relationship abuse • signs of relationship abuse • signs relationship violence • lesbian relationship abuse
Abusive Relationships
What do you do if one of your friends is experiencing relationship violence?
relationship abuse • relationship abuse • relationship violence • abusive • domestic violence • help with relationship abuse
What do you do if one of your friends is experiencing relationship violence?
relationship abuse • relationship abuse • relationship violence • abusive • domestic violence • help with relationship abuse
Teen Relationship Abuse
All teens are at risk of dating abuse, but gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens can be at an extra risk due to homophobia.
relationship abuse • lgb • gay relationship • relationship abuse • relationship violence • lesbian relationship
All teens are at risk of dating abuse, but gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens can be at an extra risk due to homophobia.
relationship abuse • lgb • gay relationship • relationship abuse • relationship violence • lesbian relationship
The Dream Boy
At what age is a boy mature enough to give his consent to sexual relations. In "Dream Boy", we are left with no doubt about what constitutes mutual consent and exploitative force.
relationship abuse • consent • underage • teenage • gay • relationships
At what age is a boy mature enough to give his consent to sexual relations. In "Dream Boy", we are left with no doubt about what constitutes mutual consent and exploitative force.
relationship abuse • consent • underage • teenage • gay • relationships
A Holiday Grudge
In times like that, in holidays and birthdays, I am reminded of this fundamental truth: my voluptuous, virulent, spiteful, hissing and spitting grudge is all I have. Those who threaten to take it away from me - with their love, affection, compassion, or care - are my mortal enemies indeed.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
In times like that, in holidays and birthdays, I am reminded of this fundamental truth: my voluptuous, virulent, spiteful, hissing and spitting grudge is all I have. Those who threaten to take it away from me - with their love, affection, compassion, or care - are my mortal enemies indeed.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Beware the Children
I see in children feigned innocence, relentless and ruthless manipulation, the cunning of the weak. They are ageless. Their narcissism is disarming in its directness, in its cruel and absolute lack of empathy. They demand with insistence, punish absent-mindedly, idealize and devalue capriciously.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I see in children feigned innocence, relentless and ruthless manipulation, the cunning of the weak. They are ageless. Their narcissism is disarming in its directness, in its cruel and absolute lack of empathy. They demand with insistence, punish absent-mindedly, idealize and devalue capriciously.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Chronos and Narcissus
It can never enjoy another person. It can never intertwine, or care, or warm its heart, or hope. It can produce some poems but never poetry. It is even deprived of the ability to feel lonely. And though it may fully grasp its own deficiencies - try as it may, it can never change. For it is artificial and synthetic - a fiction, a two-dimensional creation, a part and not a whole. It is a narcissist.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
It can never enjoy another person. It can never intertwine, or care, or warm its heart, or hope. It can produce some poems but never poetry. It is even deprived of the ability to feel lonely. And though it may fully grasp its own deficiencies - try as it may, it can never change. For it is artificial and synthetic - a fiction, a two-dimensional creation, a part and not a whole. It is a narcissist.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Conspicuous Existence
Small wonder the narcissist is tired. His exhaustion is all-pervasive and all-consuming. His mental energy depleted, the narcissist can hardly empathize with others, love, or experience emotions. "Conspicuous existence" malignantly replaces "real existence". The myriad, ambivalent, forms of life are supplanted by the single obsession-compulsion of being seen, being observed, being reflected, being by proxy, through the gaze of others. The narcissist ceases to exist when not in company. His being fades when not discerned. Yet, he is unable to return the favour. He is a captive, oblivious to everything but his preoccupation. Emptied from within, devoured by his urge, the narcissist blindly stumbles from one relationship to another, from one warm body to the next, forever in search of that elusive creature - himself.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Small wonder the narcissist is tired. His exhaustion is all-pervasive and all-consuming. His mental energy depleted, the narcissist can hardly empathize with others, love, or experience emotions. "Conspicuous existence" malignantly replaces "real existence". The myriad, ambivalent, forms of life are supplanted by the single obsession-compulsion of being seen, being observed, being reflected, being by proxy, through the gaze of others. The narcissist ceases to exist when not in company. His being fades when not discerned. Yet, he is unable to return the favour. He is a captive, oblivious to everything but his preoccupation. Emptied from within, devoured by his urge, the narcissist blindly stumbles from one relationship to another, from one warm body to the next, forever in search of that elusive creature - himself.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Culture, Society, and Narcissism
Can families, organizations, ethnic groups, churches, and even whole nations be safely described as "narcissistic" or "pathologically self-absorbed"? Wouldn't such generalizations be a trifle racist and more than a trifle wrong? The answer is: it depends.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Can families, organizations, ethnic groups, churches, and even whole nations be safely described as "narcissistic" or "pathologically self-absorbed"? Wouldn't such generalizations be a trifle racist and more than a trifle wrong? The answer is: it depends.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Discussions about Narcissism
Pathological narcissism pervades every facet of the personality, every behavior, every cognition, and every emotion. This makes it difficult to treat. Add to this the narcissist's unthinking and deeply-ingrained resistance to authority figures, such as therapists - and healing, or even mere behavior modification, are rendered unattainable.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Pathological narcissism pervades every facet of the personality, every behavior, every cognition, and every emotion. This makes it difficult to treat. Add to this the narcissist's unthinking and deeply-ingrained resistance to authority figures, such as therapists - and healing, or even mere behavior modification, are rendered unattainable.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Facilitating Narcissism
We are surrounded by malignant narcissists. How come this disorder has hitherto been largely ignored? How come there is such a dearth of research and literature regarding this crucial family of pathologies? Even mental health practitioners are woefully unaware of it and unprepared to assist its victims.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
We are surrounded by malignant narcissists. How come this disorder has hitherto been largely ignored? How come there is such a dearth of research and literature regarding this crucial family of pathologies? Even mental health practitioners are woefully unaware of it and unprepared to assist its victims.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
For the Love of God
God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be: omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist's wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy. But God comes handy in other ways as well.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be: omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist's wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy. But God comes handy in other ways as well.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Grandiosity and Intimacy - The Roots of Paranoia
The paranoid narcissist ends life as an oddball recluse - derided, feared, and loathed in equal measures. His paranoia - exacerbated by repeated rejections and ageing - pervades his entire life and diminishes his creativity, adaptability, and functioning. The narcisstis personality, buffetted by paranoia, turns ossified and brittle. Finally, atomized and useless, it succumbs and gives way to a great void. The narcissist is consumed.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The paranoid narcissist ends life as an oddball recluse - derided, feared, and loathed in equal measures. His paranoia - exacerbated by repeated rejections and ageing - pervades his entire life and diminishes his creativity, adaptability, and functioning. The narcisstis personality, buffetted by paranoia, turns ossified and brittle. Finally, atomized and useless, it succumbs and gives way to a great void. The narcissist is consumed.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Grandiosity Hangover and Narcissist Baiting
The balding, potbellied, narcissist still courts women aggressively. The impoverished tycoon sinks deeper into debts, trying to maintain an unsustainable and lavish lifestyle. The one-novel author or one-discovery scholar still demands professional deference and expects attention by media and superiors. The once-potent politician maintains regal airs and holds court in great pomp. The wizened actress demands special treatment and throws temper tantrums when rebuffed. The ageing beauty wears her daughter's clothes and regresses emotionally as she progresses chronologically.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The balding, potbellied, narcissist still courts women aggressively. The impoverished tycoon sinks deeper into debts, trying to maintain an unsustainable and lavish lifestyle. The one-novel author or one-discovery scholar still demands professional deference and expects attention by media and superiors. The once-potent politician maintains regal airs and holds court in great pomp. The wizened actress demands special treatment and throws temper tantrums when rebuffed. The ageing beauty wears her daughter's clothes and regresses emotionally as she progresses chronologically.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Ideas of Reference
The narcissist is the centre of the world. He is not merely the centre of HIS world - as far as he can tell, he is the centre of THE world.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist is the centre of the world. He is not merely the centre of HIS world - as far as he can tell, he is the centre of THE world.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
It is My World, Who are You?
I belong. I am a narcissist. And you? You are deviants. You have mal-adapted to my brave new world. The world of the Narcissist.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I belong. I am a narcissist. And you? You are deviants. You have mal-adapted to my brave new world. The world of the Narcissist.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Kids and Pets (Part I)
In the first of a two-part series on Kids and Pets, learn how teaching children and pets acceptable behavior toward each other can help ensure the safety and happiness of all concerned.
relationship abuse • child • children • pets • development • dogs
In the first of a two-part series on Kids and Pets, learn how teaching children and pets acceptable behavior toward each other can help ensure the safety and happiness of all concerned.
relationship abuse • child • children • pets • development • dogs
Losing for Granted
It is when loss is tangible - that the narcissist regains his former zeal and erstwhile fervor. He courts a long neglected wife, invests himself in a hated job, befriends spurned colleagues, engulfs with unnatural warmth and empathy offended friends. It is very common, for instance, for a narcissist to rediscover the joy of sex with an adulterous partner. It is as though being cheated by his wife (or husband) rekindles in the narcissist a competitive urge, a possessive streak, and a perverted carnal pleasure.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
It is when loss is tangible - that the narcissist regains his former zeal and erstwhile fervor. He courts a long neglected wife, invests himself in a hated job, befriends spurned colleagues, engulfs with unnatural warmth and empathy offended friends. It is very common, for instance, for a narcissist to rediscover the joy of sex with an adulterous partner. It is as though being cheated by his wife (or husband) rekindles in the narcissist a competitive urge, a possessive streak, and a perverted carnal pleasure.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissism and Evil
We are often shocked less by the actions of narcissist than by the way he acts. In the absence of a vocabulary rich enough to capture the subtle hues and gradations of the spectrum of narcissistic depravity, we default to habitual adjectives such as "good" and "evil". Such intellectual laziness does this pernicious phenomenon and its victims little justice.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
We are often shocked less by the actions of narcissist than by the way he acts. In the absence of a vocabulary rich enough to capture the subtle hues and gradations of the spectrum of narcissistic depravity, we default to habitual adjectives such as "good" and "evil". Such intellectual laziness does this pernicious phenomenon and its victims little justice.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissism and Fraud
The Perpetrators of the recent financial frauds acted with disregard of both their employees and shareholders - not to mention other stakeholders - is a matter of fact, not of conjecture. Some - though by no means all - perpetrators of fraud and con-artistry indeed respond to the need to uphold and maintain a False Self - a concocted, grandiose, and demanding psychological construct. What fuels the False Self is known as "Narcissistic Supply" and consists of adulation, admiration, and, more generally, attention - even of the wrong kind. Thus, even notoriety and infamy are preferable to obscurity.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Perpetrators of the recent financial frauds acted with disregard of both their employees and shareholders - not to mention other stakeholders - is a matter of fact, not of conjecture. Some - though by no means all - perpetrators of fraud and con-artistry indeed respond to the need to uphold and maintain a False Self - a concocted, grandiose, and demanding psychological construct. What fuels the False Self is known as "Narcissistic Supply" and consists of adulation, admiration, and, more generally, attention - even of the wrong kind. Thus, even notoriety and infamy are preferable to obscurity.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissism, Substance Abuse, and Reckless Behaviors
Pathological narcissism is an addiction to narcissistic supply, the narcissist's drug of choice. It is, therefore, not surprising that other addictive and reckless behaviors - workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping - piggyback on this primary dependence.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Pathological narcissism is an addiction to narcissistic supply, the narcissist's drug of choice. It is, therefore, not surprising that other addictive and reckless behaviors - workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping - piggyback on this primary dependence.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissistic Leaders
The narcissistic leader fosters and encourages a personality cult with all the hallmarks of an institutional religion: priesthood, rites, rituals, temples, worship, catechism, mythology. The leader is this religion's ascetic saint. He monastically denies himself earthly pleasures (or so he claims) in order to be able to dedicate himself fully to his calling.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissistic leader fosters and encourages a personality cult with all the hallmarks of an institutional religion: priesthood, rites, rituals, temples, worship, catechism, mythology. The leader is this religion's ascetic saint. He monastically denies himself earthly pleasures (or so he claims) in order to be able to dedicate himself fully to his calling.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissistic Routines
The behaviour of the narcissist is regulated by a series of routines developed by rote learning and by repetitive patterns of experience. The narcissist finds change extremely distasteful and unsettling. He is a creature of habit. The function of these routines is to reduce his anxiety by transforming a hostile and arbitrary world into a hospitable and manageable one.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The behaviour of the narcissist is regulated by a series of routines developed by rote learning and by repetitive patterns of experience. The narcissist finds change extremely distasteful and unsettling. He is a creature of habit. The function of these routines is to reduce his anxiety by transforming a hostile and arbitrary world into a hospitable and manageable one.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Pathological Narcissism - A Dysfunction or a Blessing?
The narcissist's enhanced performance is predicated on the existence of a challenge (real or imaginary) and of an audience. Baumeister usefully re-affirmed this linkage, known to theoreticians since Freud.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist's enhanced performance is predicated on the existence of a challenge (real or imaginary) and of an audience. Baumeister usefully re-affirmed this linkage, known to theoreticians since Freud.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
Questions that help recognize emotional abuse in relationships, and steps to rectify said behavior
relationship abuse • identifying emotional abuse • relationship abuse • abusive relationships • how to recognize abuse • relationship control
Questions that help recognize emotional abuse in relationships, and steps to rectify said behavior
relationship abuse • identifying emotional abuse • relationship abuse • abusive relationships • how to recognize abuse • relationship control
Telling Them Apart
Narcissists are an elusive breed, hard to spot, harder to pinpoint, impossible to capture. Even an experienced mental health diagnostician with unmitigated access to the record and to the person examined would find it fiendishly difficult to determine with any degree of certainty whether someone suffers from an impairment, i.e., a mental health disorder – or merely possesses narcissistic traits, a narcissistic personality structure (“character”), or a narcissistic “overlay” superimposed on another mental health problem.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissists are an elusive breed, hard to spot, harder to pinpoint, impossible to capture. Even an experienced mental health diagnostician with unmitigated access to the record and to the person examined would find it fiendishly difficult to determine with any degree of certainty whether someone suffers from an impairment, i.e., a mental health disorder – or merely possesses narcissistic traits, a narcissistic personality structure (“character”), or a narcissistic “overlay” superimposed on another mental health problem.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Adrenaline Junkie
Narcissistic supply is exciting. When it is available, the narcissist feels elated, omnipotent, omniscient, handsome, sexy, adventurous, invincible, and irresistible. When it is missing, the narcissist first enters a manic phase of trying to replenish his supply and, if he fails, the narcissist shrivels, withdraws and is reduced to a zombie-like state of numbness.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissistic supply is exciting. When it is available, the narcissist feels elated, omnipotent, omniscient, handsome, sexy, adventurous, invincible, and irresistible. When it is missing, the narcissist first enters a manic phase of trying to replenish his supply and, if he fails, the narcissist shrivels, withdraws and is reduced to a zombie-like state of numbness.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Cyber Narcissist
To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential sources of narcissistic supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential sources of narcissistic supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Delusional Way Out
The narcissist resorts to self-delusion. Unable to completely ignore contrarian opinion and data - he transmutes them. Unable to face the dismal failure that he is, the narcissist partially withdraws from reality. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths and outlandish interpretations of events around him.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist resorts to self-delusion. Unable to completely ignore contrarian opinion and data - he transmutes them. Unable to face the dismal failure that he is, the narcissist partially withdraws from reality. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths and outlandish interpretations of events around him.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Embarrassing Narcissist
I was convinced that I possess an unerring sense of rhythm until my wife told me I had none. I thought that my comments, observations, and insights are original and pithy - until I discovered that I am numbingly verbose, repetitive, and coarse. I attributed to myself a great sense of humor until I re-read some of my writings and found how convoluted and dull my pitiful efforts at being witty were. To my mind, my prose was arabesque but lucid and incisive. I have since learned that it is no such thing.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I was convinced that I possess an unerring sense of rhythm until my wife told me I had none. I thought that my comments, observations, and insights are original and pithy - until I discovered that I am numbingly verbose, repetitive, and coarse. I attributed to myself a great sense of humor until I re-read some of my writings and found how convoluted and dull my pitiful efforts at being witty were. To my mind, my prose was arabesque but lucid and incisive. I have since learned that it is no such thing.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Energy of Self
Hence the narcissist's constant fatigue and ennui, his short attention span, his tendency to devalue sources of supply, even his transformed aggression. The narcissist can afford to dedicate resources only to the most promising founts of narcissistic supply. The "path of least investment" - criminal shortcuts, violence, cheating, con-artistry, lies and confabulations - is always preferred by the narcissist because his élan is so run down, his vitality so drenched, and his verve so exhausted by the unusual need to secure from the outside what most people effortlessly produce internally and take for granted.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Hence the narcissist's constant fatigue and ennui, his short attention span, his tendency to devalue sources of supply, even his transformed aggression. The narcissist can afford to dedicate resources only to the most promising founts of narcissistic supply. The "path of least investment" - criminal shortcuts, violence, cheating, con-artistry, lies and confabulations - is always preferred by the narcissist because his élan is so run down, his vitality so drenched, and his verve so exhausted by the unusual need to secure from the outside what most people effortlessly produce internally and take for granted.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Labours of the Narcissist
I can't hold a job or even run my own business for very long. People - co-workers, clients, suppliers - complain that I create a "bad atmosphere", that I am a "difficult person", that they have to walk on brittle eggshells lest I explode, humiliate them, expose their errors and their weaknesses, or simply walk away.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I can't hold a job or even run my own business for very long. People - co-workers, clients, suppliers - complain that I create a "bad atmosphere", that I am a "difficult person", that they have to walk on brittle eggshells lest I explode, humiliate them, expose their errors and their weaknesses, or simply walk away.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Losses of the Narcissist
The narcissist cruises through his life as a tourist would through an exotic island. He observes events and people, his own experiences and loved ones - as a spectator would a movie that at times is mildly exciting and at others mildly boring. He is never fully there, entirely present, irreversibly committed. He is constantly with one hand on his emotional escape hatch, ready to bail out, to absent himself, to re-invent his life in another place, with other people. The narcissist is a coward, terrified of his true self and protective of the deceit that is his new existence. He feels no pain. He feels no love. He feels no life.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist cruises through his life as a tourist would through an exotic island. He observes events and people, his own experiences and loved ones - as a spectator would a movie that at times is mildly exciting and at others mildly boring. He is never fully there, entirely present, irreversibly committed. He is constantly with one hand on his emotional escape hatch, ready to bail out, to absent himself, to re-invent his life in another place, with other people. The narcissist is a coward, terrified of his true self and protective of the deceit that is his new existence. He feels no pain. He feels no love. He feels no life.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Non-Truths in Online Profiles
Some people want to keep their real-life relationships a mystery to others inside the virtual world. To do so, they offer fictional answers to their profile questions.
relationship abuse • online • public profile • virtual world • real world • reality
Some people want to keep their real-life relationships a mystery to others inside the virtual world. To do so, they offer fictional answers to their profile questions.
relationship abuse • online • public profile • virtual world • real world • reality
The Objects of the Narcissist
The narcissist parades his objects, flaunts them, consumes them conspicuously, praises them vocally, draws attention to them compulsively, brags about them incessantly. When they fail to elicit narcissistic supply - admiration, adulation, marvel - the narcissist feels wounded, humiliated, deprived, discriminated against, the victim of a conspiracy, unloved.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist parades his objects, flaunts them, consumes them conspicuously, praises them vocally, draws attention to them compulsively, brags about them incessantly. When they fail to elicit narcissistic supply - admiration, adulation, marvel - the narcissist feels wounded, humiliated, deprived, discriminated against, the victim of a conspiracy, unloved.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Opaque Mirror
I keep getting surprised when confronted with reality. My feelings are hurt, my narcissism injured, my self esteem shaken, my rage provoked.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I keep getting surprised when confronted with reality. My feelings are hurt, my narcissism injured, my self esteem shaken, my rage provoked.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Psychology of Serial and Mass Killers
Serial killers often mutilate their victims and abscond with trophies - usually, body parts. They treat their prey as a disturbed child would treat her rag dolls. Some of them have been known to eat the organs they have ripped - an act of merging with the dead and assimilating them through digestion.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Serial killers often mutilate their victims and abscond with trophies - usually, body parts. They treat their prey as a disturbed child would treat her rag dolls. Some of them have been known to eat the organs they have ripped - an act of merging with the dead and assimilating them through digestion.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Psychology of Torture
Torture robs the victim of the most basic modes of relating to reality and, thus, is the equivalent of cognitive death. Space and time are warped by sleep deprivation. The self ("I") is shattered. The tortured have nothing familiar to hold on to: family, home, personal belongings, loved ones, language, name. Gradually, they lose their mental resilience and sense of freedom. They feel alien - unable to communicate, relate, attach, or empathize with others.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Torture robs the victim of the most basic modes of relating to reality and, thus, is the equivalent of cognitive death. Space and time are warped by sleep deprivation. The self ("I") is shattered. The tortured have nothing familiar to hold on to: family, home, personal belongings, loved ones, language, name. Gradually, they lose their mental resilience and sense of freedom. They feel alien - unable to communicate, relate, attach, or empathize with others.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Self-Deprecating Narcissist
I have a riotous, subtle, ironic, and sharpened sense of humour. I can be self-deprecating and self-effacing. I do not recoil from making my dilapidated ego the target of my own barbs. Yet, this is true only when I have narcissistic supply aplenty. Narcissistic supply - attention, adulation, admiration, applause, fame, celebrity, notoriety - neuter the sting of my self-directed jokes. In my more humorous moments I can present myself as the opposite of what is widely known to be true. I can unfold a tale of fatuous decisions followed by clumsy misbehaviour - yet, no one would take me to be fatuous or clumsy. It is as though my reputation protects me from the brunt of my own jocular modesty. I can afford to be magnanimously forgiving of my own shortcomings because they are so outweighed by my gifts and by my widely known achievements or traits.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
I have a riotous, subtle, ironic, and sharpened sense of humour. I can be self-deprecating and self-effacing. I do not recoil from making my dilapidated ego the target of my own barbs. Yet, this is true only when I have narcissistic supply aplenty. Narcissistic supply - attention, adulation, admiration, applause, fame, celebrity, notoriety - neuter the sting of my self-directed jokes. In my more humorous moments I can present myself as the opposite of what is widely known to be true. I can unfold a tale of fatuous decisions followed by clumsy misbehaviour - yet, no one would take me to be fatuous or clumsy. It is as though my reputation protects me from the brunt of my own jocular modesty. I can afford to be magnanimously forgiving of my own shortcomings because they are so outweighed by my gifts and by my widely known achievements or traits.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Selfish Gene - The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism
Is pathological narcissism the outcome of inherited traits - or the sad result of abusive and traumatizing upbringing? Or, maybe it is the confluence of both? It is a common occurrence, after all, that, in the same family, with the same set of parents and an identical emotional environment - some siblings grow to be malignant narcissists, while others are perfectly "normal". Surely, this indicates a predisposition of some people to developing narcissism, a part of one's genetic heritage.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Is pathological narcissism the outcome of inherited traits - or the sad result of abusive and traumatizing upbringing? Or, maybe it is the confluence of both? It is a common occurrence, after all, that, in the same family, with the same set of parents and an identical emotional environment - some siblings grow to be malignant narcissists, while others are perfectly "normal". Surely, this indicates a predisposition of some people to developing narcissism, a part of one's genetic heritage.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Silver Pieces of the Narcissist
Antagonizing and alienating my potential benefactors is a pleasure that I cannot afford on an empty purse. When impoverished, I am altruism embodied - the best of friends, the most caring of tutors, a benevolent guide, a lover of humanity, and a fierce fighter against narcissism, sadism, and abuse in all their myriad forms. I adhere, I obey, I succumb, I agree wholeheartedly, I praise, condone, idolize, and applaud. I am the perfect audience, an admirer and an adulator, a worm and an amoeba - spineless, adaptable in form, slithery flexibility itself. To behave so is unbearable for a narcissist, hence my addiction to money (really, to freedom) in all its forms. It is my evolutionary ladder from slime to the sublime - to mastery.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Antagonizing and alienating my potential benefactors is a pleasure that I cannot afford on an empty purse. When impoverished, I am altruism embodied - the best of friends, the most caring of tutors, a benevolent guide, a lover of humanity, and a fierce fighter against narcissism, sadism, and abuse in all their myriad forms. I adhere, I obey, I succumb, I agree wholeheartedly, I praise, condone, idolize, and applaud. I am the perfect audience, an admirer and an adulator, a worm and an amoeba - spineless, adaptable in form, slithery flexibility itself. To behave so is unbearable for a narcissist, hence my addiction to money (really, to freedom) in all its forms. It is my evolutionary ladder from slime to the sublime - to mastery.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The Ubiquitous Narcissist
The narcissist feels omnipresent, all-pervasive, the prime mover and shaker, the cause of all things. Hence his constant projection of his own traits, fears, behaviour patterns, beliefs, and plans onto others. The narcissist is firmly convinced that he is the generator of other people's emotions, that they depend on him for their well-being, that without him their lives will crumble into gray mediocrity. He regards himself as the most important part in the life of his nearest and dearest. To avoid painful contradictions with reality, the narcissist aims to micromanage and control his human environment.
relationship abuse • npd • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • personality • personality disorder
The narcissist feels omnipresent, all-pervasive, the prime mover and shaker, the cause of all things. Hence his constant projection of his own traits, fears, behaviour patterns, beliefs, and plans onto others. The narcissist is firmly convinced that he is the generator of other people's emotions, that they depend on him for their well-being, that without him their lives will crumble into gray mediocrity. He regards himself as the most important part in the life of his nearest and dearest. To avoid painful contradictions with reality, the narcissist aims to micromanage and control his human environment.
relationship abuse • npd • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • personality • personality disorder
To Age with Grace
The narcissist ages without mercy and without grace. His withered body and his overwrought mind betray him all at once. He stares with incredulity and rage at cruel mirrors. He refuses to accept his growing fallibility. He rebels against his decrepitude and mediocrity. Accustomed to being awe-inspiring and the recipient of adulation - the narcissist cannot countenance his social isolation and the pathetic figure that he cuts.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist ages without mercy and without grace. His withered body and his overwrought mind betray him all at once. He stares with incredulity and rage at cruel mirrors. He refuses to accept his growing fallibility. He rebels against his decrepitude and mediocrity. Accustomed to being awe-inspiring and the recipient of adulation - the narcissist cannot countenance his social isolation and the pathetic figure that he cuts.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Transformations of Aggression
The narcissist feels that he is worthy of special and immediate treatment by the most qualified. His time is too precious to be wasted by bureaucratic trifles, misunderstandings, underlings, and social conventions. His mission is urgent. Other people are expected both to share the narcissist's self-assessment - and to behave accordingly: to accommodate his needs, instantly comply with his wishes, and succumb to his whims.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist feels that he is worthy of special and immediate treatment by the most qualified. His time is too precious to be wasted by bureaucratic trifles, misunderstandings, underlings, and social conventions. His mission is urgent. Other people are expected both to share the narcissist's self-assessment - and to behave accordingly: to accommodate his needs, instantly comply with his wishes, and succumb to his whims.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Trauma and Abuse
Trauma is not always the result of abuse, of course. We are traumatized by mishaps, setbacks, disasters, and death. Trauma always entails grief and bereavement. Whether abuse translates to trauma depends, to a large extent, on the intricate interaction between victim and society.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Trauma is not always the result of abuse, of course. We are traumatized by mishaps, setbacks, disasters, and death. Trauma always entails grief and bereavement. Whether abuse translates to trauma depends, to a large extent, on the intricate interaction between victim and society.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Whistling in the Dark
The narcissist often strikes people are "laid back" - or, less charitably: lazy, parasitic, spoiled, and self-indulgent. But, as usual with narcissists, appearances deceive. Narcissists are either compulsively driven over-achievers - or chronic under-achieving wastrels. Most of them fail to make full and productive use of their potential and capacities. Many avoid even the now standard path of an academic degree, a career, or family life.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
The narcissist often strikes people are "laid back" - or, less charitably: lazy, parasitic, spoiled, and self-indulgent. But, as usual with narcissists, appearances deceive. Narcissists are either compulsively driven over-achievers - or chronic under-achieving wastrels. Most of them fail to make full and productive use of their potential and capacities. Many avoid even the now standard path of an academic degree, a career, or family life.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Emotional Abuse and Teen Dating
Many teens are being emotionally abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't realize it. Recognize types of emotional abuse and what to do if you're being abused.
relationship abuse • emotional abuse to a teenage girlfriend • teen abuse • verbal abuse and teen dating • verbal abuse teenage relationships • relationship emotional abuse
Many teens are being emotionally abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't realize it. Recognize types of emotional abuse and what to do if you're being abused.
relationship abuse • emotional abuse to a teenage girlfriend • teen abuse • verbal abuse and teen dating • verbal abuse teenage relationships • relationship emotional abuse
Abuse By Proxy
Abusers often use other people to do their dirty work for them. These - sometimes unwitting - accomplices belong to three groups.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Abusers often use other people to do their dirty work for them. These - sometimes unwitting - accomplices belong to three groups.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Abusing the Narcissist
Narcissists attract abuse. Haughty, exploitative, demanding, insensitive, and quarrelsome - they tend to draw opprobrium and provoke anger and even hatred. Sorely lacking in interpersonal skills, devoid of empathy, and steeped in irksome grandiose fantasies - they invariably fail to mitigate the irritation and revolt that they induce in others.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Narcissists attract abuse. Haughty, exploitative, demanding, insensitive, and quarrelsome - they tend to draw opprobrium and provoke anger and even hatred. Sorely lacking in interpersonal skills, devoid of empathy, and steeped in irksome grandiose fantasies - they invariably fail to mitigate the irritation and revolt that they induce in others.
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Acquired Situational Narcissism
Can narcissism be acquired or learned? Can it be provoked by certain, well-defined, situations?
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships
Can narcissism be acquired or learned? Can it be provoked by certain, well-defined, situations?
relationship abuse • narcissism • narcissistic personality disorder • psychopathology • therapy • relationships