Day Two The Dream
Day Two - The Dream.The dream I recorded was strange. It was exhausting and frightening. I rarely dream, wake with a nightmare and then return to continue the same dream. However - this time that is what happened.
The background to what was happening when the dream ocurred.
- My father had not yet been pronounced as dieing.
- He was extremely unhappy with the nursing care and the conditions he was experiencing in the Aged Care Centre. He had become quite abusive to me, and had me removed from the hospital many times. I was unrelenting in my persistence. I returned each and every day.
- I had made the commitment to myself that I would be there for him and that I would remain present to myself and to reality no matter what. My previous characteristic as an addict/alcoholic was to 'numb out to absence' when under stress. So this was an attempt on my part to trial new behaviours. (In this instance I would not be getting a second chance, they way one does with new behaviours in rehab.) However it was apparent that if I made no 'break through' with my father there would be a limited time within which to make amends and to show him that he was unconditionally loved.
- I was committed to the idea of reconcilliation as much for myself as for him. Under counseling, and with support and guidance we decided that this would be a good move.
The dream......
"I was at a party and I recognised my Inner Child Counselor. She is a female. After much time of my hanging on the fringes of the party, she came over to me to welcome me in. I turned my back on her in a cold and unloving manner."
I woke and was very disturbed, I worked on the computer and then returned to dream again."I saw a male friend who I am partnered with writing Children's Books. I went over to him and put out my arms out for a hug. He turned away. I walked forwarded and put my arms around him and he cried. The sound was like the agony of the world."
After this dream I had great difficulty working when I went to work that day. I woke from this dream with a sense that I had to become less feminine. It seemed to signal that I needed to begin to fight in an aggressive manner. I had no explanation as to why I believed this.The copyright of the article Day Two The Dream in Alcoholism is owned by Jo Murphy. Permission to republish Day Two The Dream in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.Articles in this Topic Discussions in this Topic
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