Perfect Love Casts out Fear

Memories of childhood horrors had left me with a fear of the language which I heard spoken during the war, but the love of a Russian woman drove out that fear.

Torturous Childhood Memories

I thought I would never watch another war movie or news report again, because the memory of war upsets me too much. The scenes which I see are not historical documents to me. I have lived through the horrors. The images on the screen are real. When the movie, "Das Boot" (The Boat), played in theatres, my friends were surprised that I did not go to see it. It is the award-winning story of a German submarine in World War II. When the movie played on TV one evening, my husband decided to watch it in bed, and I was too tired to stay up until it was over. Yes, I enjoyed the excellent German which was spoken, but, as expected, I fell asleep after the opening scene.

Just as the final scene was playing, I woke up with a start, bathed in a cold sweat and shaking. World War II air raid sirens were screaming and bombs were falling. Those sounds had not bothered me all these 50 years since I had first heard them, because I had avoided everything that could have reminded me of them.

Language Associations

One fear, however, has been with me continually since March 10, 1945, when I first heard the sound of the Russian language. The city of Danzig in which we had been stranded during our flight to the west was invaded by the Russian army, and I do not intend ever to elaborate on the scenes which followed. It is natural to associate a language with the experience in which it was first heard, and that is an experience which I cannot remember without paralyzing fear.

Living in a multilingual society in Canada, I hear many languages daily. It took me years to dissociate the sound of the Ukrainian language from that of the Russian. My father was born in what is now Ukraine, and I count Ukrainian-Canadians among my best friends. I just had to get used to the sound of their language.

But Russian? In vain have I tried to be friends with Russian people. The sound of their language has always caused me agony. I associate it with indiscriminate shootings, with rape, and with drunken rage. How could I ever get over the memories of the Russian invasion?

The copyright of the article Perfect Love Casts out Fear in Natural Health is owned by Traute Klein, biogardener. Permission to republish Perfect Love Casts out Fear in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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