Un/Homeschooling

Lesson 3: Deschooling Philosophy

School Life and Home Life

“If you ask someone what he is drinking he will answer ‘tea.’ There is sugar in it, but he never mentions the sugar, he never says he is drinking tea-and-sugar. The sweetness of the sugar permeates the tea, but the man drinks and says nothing about it. Education must be like the sugar, doing its work in secret. We can see the hands, nose, ears, eyes and tongue are active, but no one can see what the soul is doing. Our ears appear to be listening, our tongue appears to be talking. No matter what the appearance may be, it is not only the tongue that talks. In spite of appearances, it is not only the ears that hear. That which speaks and hears is the spirit within. And the spirit is invisible. The best education is similarly invisible. The more it is seen, the more imperfect it is.” - Vinoba Bhave, an educational philosopher born in the Indian state of Maharashtra in 1895, identified by Ghandi as his spiritual successor.

Not unlike the way mainstream parenting practitioners attempt to separate child-rearing responsibilities from the rest of life, many forms of homeschooling involve the discipline of separating school activities from home activities. Families create this separation by setting aside a block of time, perhaps even a special space, for doing school. Unschooling does not support this unnatural separation of learning from living. It’s only an illusion anyway.

Living is Learning and Learning is Living.

"It is impossible to exist, to experience the world, without learning, so rather than reifying learning as an ideal state, I propose that a worthy goal be self-definition: the practice of self design through an active, participatory, exciting, fun, diverse, and unique exploration of the world and our lives." - Matt Hern, author of Deschooling Our Lives.

Unschooled children learn everyday, at any time, all the time, in the course of their regular activities. They don’t perceive a distinct separation between things they do and things they learn. There is rarely a specific period of time set aside for the purpose of learning. Learning simply happens when it happens, often without the conscious knowledge of the children.

These children likely experience a profound sense of freedom and fulfillment in life. They take responsibility for choosing their own activities, free from the pressure for those activities to be ‘productive.’ They are welcome and included to participate in the activities of their parents and other adults. They are comfortable in their world. They gain a level of confidence and self-awareness that is rare in schooled children, and even in some adults.

“I remember as a kid enjoying the slogan ‘kids are people too,’ and in my family we were. We were important–our ideas, our needs and our concerns were listened to and taken seriously. We were included in the very real decisions that families (usually adults) must make. We were treated like full-sized people, even though we were small.” - Heidi Priesnitz, former homeschooler, and author of two books about deschooling.

The lives of homeschooled children are fuller because they’re based in real-world experiences as compared to those of children in age-segregated school classrooms. Their social lives are fuller because they better know themselves. They have the time to get to know themselves. Homeschooled children are often more comfortable interacting with adults than are schooled children who must view their elders as authorities. This is not to say that homeschoolers don’t value and respect the expertise of adults who offer them learning experiences and opportunities, for they will feel gratitude for that which is asked for and shared.

Like adults who were schooled, children who were previously schooled may take some time to deschool themselves, although the process should be somewhat easier as children are more flexible and adaptable. When children begin unschooling, all of a sudden their lives feel lighter and freer. At first they may resist all activities that might be interpreted as educational (at least those in which they recognize the learning), but in time the reality of learning for oneself and enjoying it becomes apparent.

”For families who begin unschooling after their children have attended school, learning to let unschooling work is usually a more difficult process. It can take time–weeks, months, sometimes even years–for children to rediscover their natural curiosity, to adapt to the concept that what and how they learn is up to them, to believe enough in their own abilities to let themselves care deeply about what they do.“ - Mary Griffith, author of The Unschooling Handbook.

For children, life is more flexible, ideas are forming and changing. They are still discovering who they are. Adults are likely much more set in their patterns. Deschooling will take more conscious effort. But, as you put forth this effort, you, too, will feel freer and will regain your natural curiosity. It may change your whole outlook on life. Sandra Dodd offers the following first step.

“Replace any form of the verb ‘to teach’ with ‘to learn.’ It will involve some rephrasing, and sometimes you have to back up and totally revise the statement or the idea. Replace ‘I taught him…’ with ‘He learned…’ Replace ‘I plan to teach him…’ with ‘When he learns…’ (You might want to retroactively revise your earlier thoughts too. If you think you taught your child to eat or talk or walk, you might want to replace those memories with ‘He learned to walk by pulling himself up and trying it,’ and so on.)” - Sandra Dodd, radical unschooling advocate.

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