Lesson 4: Calibrating your Internal Compass
Being confident in yourself
The best any of us can hope to do is the best we can do in the moment. Thomas Leonard, founder of CoachU, Coachville, and credited with founding the profession of life coaching often challenged his students with the following statement, "People are always doing the best they can, even when they aren't, because they are." Take a couple of moments and let the truth of that statement wash over you and your current circumstances. You are doing the best that you can, aren't you?
If you can't agree with that, with confidence, what will it take for you to move to the place where you accept yourself and the things you are doing, in this moment, as being the best you can? It is not about accepting mediocrity or allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity. It is simply about accepting who you are and where you are, right now. You may want to be handling things better. And you will. You may want to be levelling out your emotions. And you will. But for this moment, it is your best.
When we believe that we are being and doing the best that we can it allows us to be patient with ourselves. That isn't to say that we won't discover that we made some bad choices, but it does allow us to do them without malicious intent toward ourselves.
You may find that yours is the only voice you hear that agrees with your decisions. You may be defending yourself at a time when you least feel like it. Trust that you are doing your best.
If you recognize that certain circumstances or situations prove too much of a personal challenge right now, then ask the opinion of only one or two people you trust. They will provide guidance and opportunities for you to grow without putting yourself at risk (either physically or emotionally).
What makes a good decision? In the first section, I quoted Willie Jolley. A good decision is also one that adds to your healing. A good decision is one that you will be able to live with, guiltfree. A good decision is based in fact and your ability to handle those facts.
Ask for exactly what you want and need from others. Clearly communicate your expectations and ask for clarification from others. Speak your truth with confidence. You are not crazy. You are not making it up. It was what it was, from your experience of it, and there is no need to step back from that now.
Identify which of these statements are currently true for you.
1. I am in control of my choices and actions.
2. I am prepared to make life choices based on my values and purpose.
3. I am confident in my choices, even when my voice stands alone.
4. I speak my truth with confidence.
5. I am prepared to consider not only what is good for me, but what is great.
6. I am prepared to accept myself where I am, right now.
7. I am able to forgive myself when I stumble on my healing journey.
