Ending Relationships

Lesson 2: Financial and Legal Matters

Intended as a resource and reminder for those issues that will require attention, this lesson focuses on what you already know and what you may need to address.

Building your team

This lesson is about taking care of business. You may not want to examine some of this items. That's okay. Please do it anyway. It won't make you die sooner, change your lifestyle radically, or otherwise cause you to break out in a rash. (Or maybe it is my bias toward the more practical matters of life that is being reflected in those comments.)

This lesson is also about taking care of yourself and your children. It is practical. It is you making plans and using good judgement. I know you can do it.

I also encourage you to research the specifics of the law in your area. Subtle differences in wording, interpretation, and/or application can have significant impact on you. Always obtain current and accurate information from trusted professionals at your location.

The questions for this section have to do with the people you have on your team and what you need them to do for you.

1. Do you have legal council that you trust?

You may even want to consider interviewing a few lawyers before hiring one. Many lawyers will provide an initial free consultation. They know the law - you know how you want to proceed with your separation. Understand they will do their best to represent your interests. Make sure they are consistent with your beliefs and your ethics. Also, during this time, you may want to do things on your own or have conversations with your former partner to make things easier for yourself or to keep peace with an ex, but that may in fact cause more damage to your case. You may want to have a frank discussion with your council about how you're feeling and what you might be tempted to do that could undermine your case. An ounce of caution may be warranted. Use sound judgement and follow the process.

2. Do you have a will?

It won't make you die any sooner to have your affairs in order. Your children and anyone else you are responsibile for will not be able to make things right after you die if you haven't provided them with the way to do so.

3. Do you understand the differences between items that will be referred to in you settlement?

There may be a difference, for instance, between custody and access where you live. If you will have to appear in court, are you familiar enough with the language that you can answer questions in an articulate and informed manner?

4. Do you have a financial planner who can help you with a budget and lifestyle adjustments?

Separation and divorce is costly. It is important to understand your current financial status, how divorce will adversely affect you and what you can do to maintain your current lifestyle and plan for the future. The other thing to check is your personal credit rating. You may need to borrow money or take out a mortgage on your own for the first time. Do you have a credit rating and what is it?

Take the time to answer these questions for yourself and get clear about your expectations of those professionals you will ask to be on your team. Unfortunately, you will need to be strategic. Depending on the nature of your separation, you may need to consider the talent and effectiveness of your teammates before you enter the arena.