Expectant Fathers

Lesson 3: What Are the Facts Regarding Expectant Dad Behavior...Affairs?

Hormones and Harmony

Worry and concern is not a generational issue reserved for older expectant men. Adolescent fathers too are wrought with worry during their girlfriend's pregnancy. Five factors impact teenage expectant dads during pregnancy. Like their older counterparts, these men worry about their new financial responsibilities. But they’re also troubled by feelings of emotional rejection, self doubt over their future, personal anxiety, and a deep sense of guilt. When they search for help with these feelings during pregnancy they’re confronted with a community sympathetic and attentive to the teenage mother rather than the father.

Most prenatal programs are geared towards helping the mother both psychologically and medically with little attention given to the expectant dad. He may want to be involved and act responsibly, but the “agency jungle” fails miserably at including him. With 20 percent (479,067 in year 2000) of all births occurring for teenage parents, the number of expectant fathers that are at risk is startling.

Like their older counterparts, the young father is concerned about the immediate future. Financial responsibilities, health of the infant and mother, parenthood roles, and family relationships are major issues for teenage expectant fathers.

To summarize, the type and severity of expectant dads worries differ depending on the stage of the pregnancy. Money concerns highlight the first trimester, while the ability to parent and health worries mark the second and third trimester, respectively.

An expectant father’s transition to parenthood is also influenced by his initial response to the pregnancy. Those dads who see pregnancy as a welcome event in their lives tend to have an easier time handling the nine months and subsequent fatherhood. These same fathers have less stress and are more open toward examining and committing to their relationship with their wives. One of the more surprising experiences for expectant dads, and moms, are the physical complaints expectant fathers have during pregnancy. These “sympathy” symptoms, although common, can be alarming to the new parents involved. Expectant fathers frequently have mild physical symptoms during pregnancy which have been collectively labeled the couvade syndrome.

“Couvade” comes from the French verb couver, meaning, “to brood or hatch.” Sometimes men will complain of acute abdominal pain, but more often they present mild symptoms such as nausea, regurgitation, stomach cramps, let cramps, loss of appetite, toothache (yes, toothache) abdominal swelling, diarrhea, and dizzy spells. A surprising number of expectant fathers gain weight, stomach cramping, swelling in their joints, and toothache. The most common three physical complaints of expectant fathers are toothache, loss of appetite, and nausea.

It’s been reported that toothache complaints occur 23 percent of expectant fathers, loss of appetite in 20 percent, and nausea and vomiting in 21 percent. All these symptoms are personally familiar to the expectant mom.

A little history about couvade will be helpful because it’s found all over the world and as far back as recorded history. Couvade rituals have been witnessed amongst some primitive tribes where the father goes through mock labor simultaneously as his wife. It is seen as a way to ward off evil spirits and protect the wife and child during delivery. Other couvade customs have the father submit to a strict diet, cut back on work, and overall observe the same restrictions as his pregnant wife. It is believed by anthropologists that these practices are also a "pre legal" method by which husbands establish paternity rights over their biological child.

It may seem strange that couvade syndrome is present today in our modern culture. But it is. It’s estimated that one in five husbands have at least transient symptoms. By incidence of occurrence these include nausea, indigestion, backache and headache. Couvade may be a way of expressing involvement in the pregnancy for expectant fathers. Inasmuch as society doesn’t generally acknowledge the pressures that impending parenthood exert on the father, couvade may be an outlet for his gaining involvement and recognition.

But before dismissing couvade as “ritualistic” or mind over matter, a study was conducted by the research team of Storey, Walsh, Quinton & Wynne-Edwards that is relevant to the syndrome. They looked at hormone concentrations and responses to infant stimuli in expectant and new fathers living with their partners.

They wanted to determine whether men experience changes that parallel the dramatic shifts seen in pregnant women. Two blood samples were obtained from couples at one of four times before or after the birth of their babies. After the first sample, the couples were exposed to auditory, visual, and olfactory cues from newborn infants. Men and women had similar stage-specific differences in hormone levels, including higher concentrations of prolactin and cortisol in the period just before the births and lower postnatal concentrations of sex steroids (testosterone or estradiol).

Men with more pregnancy (couvade) symptoms had higher prolactin levels and greater post-test reduction in testosterone. Interestingly, the hormone concentrations were similar between partners. As the expectant moms’ level went up, so did the expectant dads. This pattern of hormonal change in men and other paternal mammals, and its absence in non-paternal species, suggests that hormones may play a role in priming males to provide care for the young.

A change in hormone levels was also described in a Canadian study of first time fathers. This time the researchers found that expectant fathers’ have a decreased testosterone level at about the third month of pregnancy. This decrease may last until the sixth month postpartum. Simultaneously, their cortisol and estradiol concentration levels increased - hormones known to influence maternal behavior like nurturing. Not only is this a natural change found in most mammals, it is also the reason grandpa is so nurturing with the grandkids. As males age, their testosterone drops…thus soft grandfathers!

Like bookends in a good relationship, hormones tend to mirror one another for the expectant mother and father during pregnancy. Could this explain why so many couples have morning sickness and weight gain together?

Cautionary Note:

Here is a useful list of Stress Warning Signs for expectant parents. Any increase in these stress induced symptoms should be considered important for you. In many cases, they may simply indicate that a life change is occurring and stability will soon follow. However, the symptoms shouldn’t be ignored. They deserve your serious attention and discussion. The relationship exercises presented later in the book are an excellent way to identify these items and determine the extent to which they are affecting your file.

• Irritability
  
• Depression
  
• Increased impulsivity
  
• Addiction to alcohol, nicotine, drugs, caffeine, food, sex, etc.
  
• Anxiety
  
• Insomnia
  
• Loss of appetite or overeating
  
• Upset stomach
  
• Muscle aches
  
• Grinding teeth
  

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