Expectant Fathers
By Robert RodriquezLesson 2: What DO Men Worry About During Pregnancy?
In this lesson you'll learn what men actually worry about during pregnancy. For many women, it is surprising how men's concerns differ from those of women. In Section Two, you'll learn the secret of relationship success. You thought you knew your man and that he truly knew you. Take the quiz in this section and read the importance of really getting to know one another. Pregnancy is a wonderful time, regardless of any crisis or conflict you and your partner may be feeling, to reinvent your relationship stronger and more rewarding than you've ever thought possible.
What Men Worry About During Pregnancy
Here’s something to really celebrate:
- Pregnancy will be the most exciting time of your life!
- You and your spouse will be going through changes that can affectionately bond the two, or three, or four, or more of you together forever.
You’ve already begun to experience some of joys of pregnancy.
Pregnant women get lots of attention.
And, you’ve also begun to experience some of the challenges and compromises of pregnancy.
Cravings that come on at the strangest times of day or night; moods that swing harder than Frank Sinatra; having your doctor’s office feel like a regular commute; a body shape that changes faster than TJ Maxx sales offers; and a husband who finds it hard to understand why a van or SUV may be a more practical transportation choice than a nearly new Corvette.
But like hundreds of previous generations, you’ll deliver a healthy baby and be the happiest woman on earth. And your husband will feel the same way. When you both first see your new son or daughter, there will likely be tears of relief and joy rolling down your cheeks. Being pregnant and having a baby will be the most wonderful time you and your spouse have ever experienced together, if you know what to expect!
The purpose of this course is to better prepare you to make the most of that journey and the transition to parenthood with a stronger relationship than either you or your partner thought possible. It is based on over 25 years of work with expectant couples. It presents my passionate understanding of expectant fathers and successful pregnant relationships. Many of these dads were experiencing pregnancy for the first time. But most of them were “garden variety” men going through pregnancy for the second, third, or sixth time.
The facts, concepts, and success stories that will be shared come from hundreds of books and articles on the subject, talking with countless experts in the fields of fathering and parenting, meeting with hundreds of marriage counselors, attorneys, obstetricians, women's health experts, directors of birthing centers, birthing classes, and battered women's centers, pediatricians, professors, and all variety of pundits wearing the label of “expert” about pregnancy, birth, and relationships. In all, these meetings, readings, discussions, conferences and research have spanned two generations of expectant couples, mothers and fathers.
Parents’ personal accounts clearly reveal that becoming a parent changes and shapes adults in dramatic ways. Mother and author Carol Kort states: “Becoming a mother changed every fiber, every feeling, and every relationship for me. I am constantly in the process of evaluating, recognizing, and repudiating the upheaval of motherhood”. Another expert on the subject, Phyllis Chesler, writes about pregnancy: “Be prepared…to have your life turned upside down in unpredictable ways. Probably forever”. And Sam Bittman and Sue Rosenberg Zalk, authors of Expectant Fathers, state, “Pregnancy seems to ignite in all people their greatest fears and spark their most secret smoldering hopes”.
These may be scary descriptions, but remember that generations of parents have said that pregnancy and parenthood offered them more opportunities for growth and development then they’d ever dreamed possible.
The last point is the most impressive about pregnancy. Although all of the experts agree that pregnancy is a stressful and vulnerable time for expectant couples, most of them find ways to adjust their relationship and have healthy, happy families. Regardless that pregnancy may be the most challenging experience they’ll ever face; couples that have a strong relationship at the start of pregnancy have all the odds in their favor to grow together throughout life.
It’s also the case that couples ensnared in conflict prior to a pregnancy often experience pregnancy as an unmanageable challenge. The difference between these two situations isn’t merely the conflict because you can find that in any couple. No, the difference is that the successful couples have discovered ways to manage and fulfill their personal and partner expectations. If you know what to expect from each other in matters that count, your relationship will become stable, secure, and resilient. A pregnant couple’s expectations of each other are the single most important determinant for making it on the road to success.
This is the central message and theme of this course: the ability of expectant parents to perceive and respond to the expectations and needs of each other will determine their future together.
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