Buddhism 102: Ethics

Lesson 4: Karma And Skillful Means

Tough Ethical Questions

Randy Cohen writes a weekly advice column called "The Ethicist" for The New York Times Magazine. He states that, of the types of questions he receives from readers, the most common is "Do You Tell?" (170), in his words. "I saw my best friend's husband kiss another woman. Should I tell my friend?" "I know that one of my classmates cheated on a test. Should I tell my professor?" "My brother said rude things about my sister when she was out of the room. Should I tell my sister?"

These questions are always problematic because they force us to choose between standards of action. You want to be honest, but you also want to be kind. You want to prevent corruption, but you also don't want to see someone lose something valuable (a job, a relationship, etc.) because of you.

Plus, you can never be sure in this case. You run a risk of error from action, or error from inaction. If you assume that your intervention will be welcome, you might be wrong--perhaps they all knew what was going on and found it acceptable. If you assume that your intervention will be hurtful, you might be wrong, and from your inaction, an unhealthy cycle could continue.

Cohen is not a Buddhist, but I think his response applies to all kinds of ethical questions: "The practical solution usually demands that you guess your friend's wishes. Indeed, you must guess whether or not she already knows what her husband is up to. If she doesn't want to know, respect that desire. If she does want to know, you owe it to your friend to tell her.... The heart of the question is, which best prevents harm, telling or not telling?" (171)

How do we know those things, though? That's one part of the question of skillful means.

Buddha's Teaching of Skillful Means

The Buddha taught skillful means in a teaching called the Lotus Sutra. In part of the sutra, he told a parable: several children are in a burning house, unaware that the house is burning and crumbling around them. Their father wants to save their lives, but knows if he shouts "Fire!" they'll just get scared and won't come out. So he calls into the house and says, "Come out here and look at this! I have all your favorite toys outside! Come out here so you can play with them!" (Watson Ch. 3)

The father acted skillfully in this parable. He knew that saving the children's lives was more important than being honest with them. He chose to act in a way that prevented suffering more than another way.

Acting skillfully means looking at all the options available. You always have more than two options. In the "Do You Tell" questions, people can benefit from looking at the other options. If you're dealing with someone cheating in school, you could confront the cheater. You could make a general warning to the teacher. You could take the blame for the cheating in hopes that the teacher will take stronger measures to prevent cheating in the future. In any situation, the most skillful thing to do will be different.

We stop seeing skillful acts when we look at a problem as having only two possible answers. That way of thinking stops us from growing.

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