Buddhism 102: Ethics

Lesson 3: Other Paramitas

Patience and 'Really Good Teachers,' Exercise #7

Boorstein calls patience "unglamorous courage" (172), which is an effective way to describe it. When we practice patience, our courage may not show the way it does for the heroes in movies. Patience doesn't lead us to a dramatic showdown and a cheering crowd; when we're patient, we trust in the world to come together as it should.

In Being Upright, Anderson tells us that patience is the antidote to anger (182). Patience means we don't have to fix the world right away. He writes, "We must courageously, carefully and steadfastly walk to the center of our pain, sit upright, and listen to the cries of the world" (183).

Meditation is a great tool for cultivating patience. As we noted in the lesson on wisdom, so much of the time, we cannot handle being bored. Boredom is like a monster, and we're constantly on the run, trying to find the one place we can hide. When we commit ourselves to a meditation practice, we face down the monster. "Okay, Boredom. Do your worst. I'm not fighting you anymore." Of course, our patience is the deep courage to do this. It's knowing deep down that boredom can't hurt us.

Of course, being patient with yourself and your mind is not the end of the story. We must work on being patient with others. Fortunately for us, we have many opportunities to learn patience. As Boorstein says, "No one needs to especially devise situations in which to cultivate Patience. They present themselves freely" (181).

I call these situations "really good teachers." People and situations that try our patience are helping us to call on our hearts, to seek wisdom and do what's right. They can show us how close we are to giving in to anger. They lead us to pay attention. That's why they're "really good teachers."

And if one of those "really good teachers" stretches my patience so far I think it will snap, and I'm reaching for the last bit of patience I have to keep my compassion in the situation, I have been known to say, "That's a damn good teacher."

Exercise #7

Where can you manifest patience more fully in your life?

  1  2  3  4  5