College Strategies

Lesson 2: The Search for Food and Comfort: Making Friends

The ins and outs of finding friends and keeping them!

Depending on what high school you attended you probably knew most of your fellow students at least by face. It was obvious who the popular people ruling the scene were. There were probably councils and clubs you could belong to. High school is definitely a place where there are a lot more cliques than in university.

Most colleges are going to be a lot bigger than your old high school. Likely you’ll be even just slightly intimidated by a student pool of 60 000. How in the world are you going to find those people who share the same interest you do?

There is a key concept hidden in the last sentence; think back on all the friends you’ve had in your life. How many shared at least one hobby/interest/passion with you? So the best way to find friends is going to be either through your classes or clubs. Whatever worked for you the past will most likely work again. The only difference is that you are now in a more “grown-up” environment.

Colleges often have some sort of exhibition day for the campus clubs, which are often managed by students themselves. Did you browse around and could not find a club that suits your tastes? Start one of your own! You can get information on how to start your club at a main student society or union. Clubs are independently run but controlled by a ‘higher’ body, which is the place you’ll have to go.

It is easier to make contacts in tutorials and laboratories than in a lecture hall that can harbor over a thousand students. However if you put in an effort not to arrive half an hour late for class you might have time to say hi to the person next to you. Don’t ask the person out right away, that might just lead you to have the nickname “freak”. Just try to get a conversation going and see if you have some common ground. With some time those acquaintances can turn into people you hang out with or study for exams with.

Don’t rust into the exact same seat all year! Move around the lecture hall. Chances are you might find a better spot and other people will stick to the same spot. By moving around you get to meet more people.

When you start moving closer to a term paper or exam offer to study together with some other people. Make it into a group, that way you actually get to focus. It is much harder to be distracted if you make a commitment to study. Apart from that you also get to compare answers to problems and the more brains the better: if there is something you do not know you have a chance that someone else might. By repeating what you know to others it also sticks in your head better, actually helping you remember on a test. It is also likely you will eventually go out on a celebration-hell-is-over drink with your study-buddy/friend. Be careful that you do not end up only tutoring other people and forget to study yourself.

Other ways to meet people is to join an intra mural sports team if you are a rooky, or play varsity if you are great athlete. Just going to the gym on a regular basis is a good idea for both your social life and your health.

Remember: the concept of making friends is the same as it has always been; be outgoing and be you! Waking up grumpy is not a good reason for taking it out on other people, keep it to yourself, because you never know great the person next to you on the bus could be.

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