Writing a Children's Book

Lesson 8: Polishing and Editing.

Polishing Draft

It’s a good idea to rest your ms between the second (or subsequent) drafts and the polishing draft.

The polishing draft is for just that- polishing. Us it to –

Pick up typos.

Excise over abundant adjectives.

Get rid of redundant speech tags.

Smooth out those awkward constructions.

Discover and remove most passive sentences. (Sometimes they have every right to be there!)

Tidy up any odds and ends that don’t seem quite right.

Double check your chapter numbers and/or titles. It’s all too easy to end up with Chapter 5 twice over and no Chapter 6.

Get rid of words and phrases like “very”, “quite”, “actually”, “really” and “by the way” and “as it happened” unless they need to be used. Qualifiers are necessary now and again, but less often than you’d think.

Read the two passages below to see the difference this kind of polishing can make. A. is a second draft piece from one of the “Reluctant Knight” books, and B is the same passage as it reads in the polished draft.

A. Simon's stomach knotted a little at the thought of some of Becca's offerings, but they had at least been eatable. Mostly.

By now, Traveller was trotting along quite calmly, the saddlebag straps slapping gently with every stride.

Saddlebags. Now there was a thought!

Simon explored them, and was soon munching cheerfully on a slightly dry piece of bread and some rather assertive cheese. A flat bottle proved to hold cold tea. It seemed an odd drink for a knight, but Simon swigged it with gratitude when he stopped to let Traveller drink from a stream. He would have continued immediately after, but Traveller had other notions. She insisted on grazing for a full three hours before she would consent to continue the journey.

B. Simon's stomach knotted at the thought of Becca's cooking, but it had been eatable. Mostly.

Maybe there was something in the saddlebags? Aha! Simon was soon munching slightly dry bread and assertive cheese, and swilling cold tea from a flask. As for Traveller, she sneered at the cheese and insisted on stopping to graze and to drink from a stream. Her meal took a good three hours.

The most obvious change is in length. Some of the cuts were made to bring the story down to the publisher-prescribed word count, but others serve to sharpen the text. Take that first sentence, for example;

A. Simon's stomach knotted (a little) at the thought of (some of) Becca's (offerings) COOKING, but (they) IT had (at least) been eatable. Mostly.

The exclusions have all been made for a reason. 'a little', 'some of' and 'at least' are all qualifiers, that blur the text and soften its impact.

'offerings' has been changed to the simpler 'cooking', and the change from plural to singular means 'it' must replace 'they'.

You might wonder how this passage reads in the published version. The answer is, it isn’t there. Even after polishing, the ms was too long, so all that’s left in the final version is this:

“As he rode, Simon thought longingly of supper. During his last visit to Braveria, Becca’s cooking had been very peppery, though he had forced himself to eat it.”

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