Lesson 4: On the Job
Solutions
Chances are high that something is going to happen in the time you are a live-in nanny that is going to test your communication skills and ability to compromise. This is not unique to being a nanny. These are skills you will need in all settings.
Communication is the only way to work through conflicts when they arise. It is possible that you will find yourself in an insurmountable situation. If you are not able to compromise when a conflict comes up, you may have to think about leaving the situation. If you have problems with getting the children to listen to you and the parents are not helping when you ask for their aid, you may need to consider leaving the situation. Of course running away is not the answer but if you have done all that you can to work through the conflict and nothing is changing you will need to either decide you are going to put up with the problem or walk away.
First, set aside your emotions as much as possible before attempting to deal with the problem. No matter what the problem, if you are extremely emotional about it, you will not be able to deal with it effectively or professionally. Look at the problem and see what part you play in it, and what you need to change in order to help solve it. Look and see if it is even a legitimate problem, or if other frustrations in your life have caused you to see it a little skewed.
Second, write down the problem, even if it is only for you to see in writing. Then write down 3 possible solutions and how they could be implemented.
Third, make an appointment to discuss it with your employers. Make sure it is a time free of other distractions. If all of you cannot focus your full attention on the problem, you will not be able to come to a workable solution.
Fourth, calmly discuss your concerns with your employers, let them share their feelings on it, and go over possible options for solving the problem. Make sure and be honest about your part in the whole issue and what you intend to personally do to help improve the situation.
If the conflict cannot be resolved in such a way that will allow you to go on doing your job professionally, or it is causing you stress that could ultimately lead to burn out, then maybe it is time to consider moving on to a new position. This is often hard, but you can do it if you need to. Make sure that, unless you are in immediate danger or are being abused, you give at least the notice required in your contract. More can often be better, but be careful and have a back up plan, especially if you are a live-in nanny. If the situation has been difficult, you may just find yourself without a place to stay.
Give notice in writing and verbally. Do not re-hash the problem, simply tell them that you feel for all concerned it is best if you move on to a new position. Reiterate all the positives about working for them, as you want to leave on a good note. It is not only the proper, professional way to behave, but in this business, almost more than any other, you need that reference. So you want to try to leave on the best terms possible.
For more tips on dealing with leaving a family, see the National Association of Nannies website at http://www.nannyassociation.com.
