Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 8: When you fear it is too late...

Teenage Pregnancy

In a previous chapter we discussed sex and dating. In this chapter we will discuss what to do when it appears that in spite of your best efforts, your teen may be en route to becoming a parent.

Babies born to teenage parents are at high risk for long-term problems with respect to physical and emotional health, and also poverty. The teenage mothers, and often also the teenage fathers, will find themselves in a similar situation. In spite of the dismal outlook, please note that as a Christian, I do not advocate abortion. There are a couple of options available to the Christian parent who is willing to work through the situation. In order to do so, it is imperative that a parent does not give in to anger, feelings of disappointment, hurt, or betrayal. In scriptural terms, your child has sinned, and the consequence of the sin is much for far-reaching and obvious than the consequence of a different sin. Nonetheless, sin is sin, and the Bible admonishes us to help an errant brother to return to the path of righteousness with gentleness. Options for parents include the following:

• Do not suggest that the teenage parents get married.
  It is preferable that the child be born out of wedlock than to have two children enter a life-long commitment to one another, the gravity of which they may not be able to grasp.
• Be certain that the mother of the child seeks proper medical care
  While her body may be old enough to carry the child, the pregnancy may cause some damage to the mother’s health if it is not closely monitored.
• Provide for emotional help for the parents
  Some teenagers may refuse to acknowledge that they will be parents. Others may seek to harm themselves or the child. Still others just need help coping with the shame and embarrassment of being a pregnant schoolgirl. And then there are those who have unrealistic expectations of what a pregnancy will bring about within their own lives.
• Tackle the issues
  Explore, together with the teenage parents, the possibilities of adoption or raising the child. Present the facts to the parties involved. Be careful, however, to tread lightly. Attempting to force a girl to give up her child, even though it might make all the logical sense in the world, may almost irreparably harm her psychologically if she is not ready and willing to do so. Conversely, attempting to persuade her to raise the child instead of giving it up for adoption, when she sees herself as unwilling or unable to do so, will also damage her and have adverse effects on the baby, such as risk for neglect and abuse because their young mothers are uncertain about their roles and may be frustrated by the constant demands of care-taking.

For further assistance, please visit The National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

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