Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 8: When you fear it is too late...

Teenage Runaways

The Troubled Teen site posts alarming facts:

“More than 1 million teenagers run away from home each year. The National Runaway Switchboard reports that 86% of runaways are between the ages of 14 to 17 and 74% are female, while 26% are male.”

Michael Conner, Psy.D. explains the motivations of a child who decides to run away:

• To avoid an emotional experience or consequence that they are expecting in some future encounter or situation.
• To escape a recurrent or ongoing unpleasant, painful or difficult experience in their life.
• To avoid the loss of activities, relationships or friendships that are considered important or worthwhile.
• To be with others people who are supportive, encouraging and active.
• To be with others or in places that are distractions from other problems in their life.
• To change or stop what they are doing or about to do.

He further counsels about the warning signs of a potential runaway:

• Attempts to communicate result in arguments, raised voices, interruptions, name calling, hurt feelings and failure to reach an acceptable agreement.
• The child has a network of friends who are largely unsupervised, oppositional, defiant, involved with drugs and other antisocial behaviors.
• An increasing pattern of impulsive, irrational and emotionally abusive behavior by either the parent(s) or teenager.

In addition to the foregoing, children will oftentimes show behavioral signs that may point a parent toward their intentions. Parents may, for example, find a hidden bag packed as if the child was going to camp; similarly, the child may ask the parents for money and then buy essentials like soap and toothpaste.

Of course, many a time a child may threaten to run away, and unfortunately, such threats often fall on deaf ears. If your child threatens to run away, do not ignore the threat! Instead, be certain to talk to your child about all the aspects of running away: the dangers that lurk outside of the safe home, the lack of food and clothes and safety s/he now takes for granted. Be as graphic as necessary when you talk to your child about the sometimes-deadly consequences of a child alone on the streets with nobody to protect her/him.

If you think that your child has run away, do not wait to see if they will come back. Instead, immediately alert the police department, and as many media outlets as you can. Have current photos of your child on hand, and prepare flyers. If you decide to go out to look for your child, be certain that someone is at home to answer the telephone if the child should call, or if someone with information calls.

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Valuable resources to prevent running away can be found at Help For Parents.

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