Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 7: Can Teenagers be parented with Christian Principles?

Constant Involvement

During their teenage years, children will branch out into a variety of activities and will pursue a number of interests. Children will develop independent interests in music, sports, art, and spirituality. This is not the time for parents to be content with standing at the sidelines! Nor is this the time to excuse oneself from active parenting by giving in to the notion that now is the time to give the teen “more space”. They may need space, but they still need mom and dad.

Now is the time for parents to get involved in their children’s lives, to explore what they find interesting, to be able to speak knowledgably about what interests them. Don’t allow the door of communication to be shut in your face by your own inactions and lack of adaptability!

Do not give in to just dispensing some empty praise in light of an obvious achievement, but instead offer succinct encouragement. To this end:

• Become your child’s fan
  If you child is involved in sports, make it your priority to visit their every event/game or performance. Accompany them to practices. Learn the sports lingo, especially if they are participating in a sport you are not familiar with. Learn everything you can about the game, its rules, the game’s greats and role models. If your child is a budding artist, musician, or writer, show your interest. Take them to concerts, galleries or readings. Whatever your child’s talents and interests may be, be there and support, encourage, and cheer!
• Protect them from peer pressure
  A child who is comfortable with who s/he is, and is in touch with a positive view of her/himself, is less likely to fall prey to the peer pressure of belonging to an “in-crowd”, smoking or drinking in order to gain peer acceptance. A secure child will not seek out to “belong” somewhere, if they are firmly convinced they belong at home.
• Protect them from seeking love in the wrong places
  Children, whose parents are lovingly, and constantly, involved, will not look for that love to come from gangs, or members of the opposite (or same) sex. Children, who feel validated home, do not have the urge to find this validation with others at a high expense. It is heartbreaking that true family dialog sometimes does not begin until after serious problems occur. Many a teenage suicide attempt, pregnancy, or drug use could be prevented by parents who get and stay involved when things are well, not when things are out of control.

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