Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 6: How does a Christian Parent deal with Dating, Sex, Drugs, and Violence?

Drugs

Drug use amongst adolescents is at an all-time high. Drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes, are easy to come by, glorified by pop superstars, and a staple of belonging to certain “in-crowds”. As a Christian, your child may actually be at a higher risk of falling prey to false friends who will introduce her/him to drugs, since Christian children sometimes lack the common sense of their more “street smart” counterparts; in my opinion this is due to the sheltering effect a Christian fellowship has on the individual, and so sometimes parents may not know (or remember) how really, REALLY bad it is out there.

Yet, this should not cause you to despair! A little back-to-basics, common sense parenting on your part with the Bible will be of great assistance to equip your child to say “no” and stick with it. To this end, here are some practical suggestions:

• Know your child’s friends, classmates, sports buddies, etc.
  In short, know everyone your child has contact with. The easiest way to accomplish this is by inviting other families over to your home constantly, invite the children to come to your home for play dates, when they are younger, and just to hang out when they are older. If you notice that some of your child’s friends are beginning to exhibit anti-social, aggressive, deviant attitudes, discuss this with your child. Ask them if they noticed these changes in their friends; explain why these changes are dangerous to their friend, and also voice your concern to the other child’s parents. Rather than forbidding your child to see this friend, seek to limit the activities s/he has with this adolescent. Rather than labeling the adolescent as a danger, or a problem, help your child to identify weaknesses in the adolescent’s character, find the supporting Bible passages, and then earnestly pray for this person. This will prevent the other adolescent from becoming the “forbidden fruit” that is suddenly extremely desirable.
• Check your own behavior
  If you are smoking and drinking alcohol to excess, it will be hard to explain to your child to not follow in your footsteps. Quit smoking. Limit your drinking to acceptable norms.
• Practice and promote self-control
  This goes hand in hand with checking your own behavior; it also requires your child to evaluate her/his behavior. Early on, when your child comes home angry with a bad grade, show your child how to properly deal with her/his frustration, with her/his feelings of being mistreated by the teacher, left hanging by the study-buddy, or simply feelings of inadequacy. A child, who early on learns to control her/his negative emotions in the light of failure and pressure, will be less likely to seek to self-medicate to dull painful feelings.
• Be on your guard
  If you smell cigarette smoke on your child, alcohol on her/his breath, find drug paraphernalia, or see your child’s pupils dilated or believe there to be any other sign of drug use, err on the side of caution and whisk her/him away to the doctor to ascertain the extent of the drug use.
• Help your child to understand that saying “no” is ok
  The best way to do this is to dispel the myth that your child may feel s/he is different from others, and just trying something won’t lead to an addiction or illness, or worse. Your child must understand that the temptation to do drugs is normal (1), yet we are called higher by a higher power than ourselves, to whom we owe absolute obedience.

(1) 1 Corinthians 10:13

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