Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 4: Which Methods of Discipline are right, which are wrong?

For many a parent, disciplining a child is where the rubber meets the road. Some practice discipline harshly, resembling more a boot-camp commander than a parent; others have a lax attitude, hoping that if a bad behavior is ignored long enough, it will go away; still others know of only one means of discipline: the rod. While the latter has a definite place in the disciplinary arsenal, it is not the only method of choice. Sometimes, there are better solutions to a spanking, other times, it is the only method that will work.

How can a parent decide which disciplinary action to use?

The Beginning of all Discipline is Obedience

In a home where obedience is taught, there will be peace. (1) Obedience is a habit that must be cultivated. To this end, parents must insist on children obeying the first time. If we allow children to ignore us, they will do so more and more often, each time trying to figure where the parental breaking point is, and giving in just before it is reached.

Conversely, some parents simply give up, and suddenly the children find themselves in the driver’s seat, challenging their parents time and again to a duel of wills. Here are some practical suggestions that will help parents to stay in the driver’s seat:

• The parent always wins.
  As parents, we have been put in leadership over our children. God has entrusted us with their lives and spirituality, and we will do them a disservice if we do not take this role very serious.
• The child cannot wear down the parent.
  No matter how bad the attitude, how big the pout, how loud the whining, once a final parental decision has been reached, there is no going back on the decision. This is not to say that if your child presents you with a reasonable request, you, for the sake of persevering and standing your ground, will ignore what s/he has to say. Instead, be open to reasonable requests, but be firm in the light of whining, arguing and complaining.
• Beware the compromise.
  If a parent accepts non-compliance from their child, and if constant negotiation becomes the norm, rebellion will be the outcome.

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