Christian Parenting 101

Lesson 3: How does a Parent discipline a Child's Heart?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

In order for a child to have a moldable heart, s/he must not be afraid to share it within her/her household. Yet, if your house is filled with anger, screaming, shouting, threats, and maybe even domestic violence, a child will wither, and a parent will be unable to mold her/his heart. For this reason, parents will need to learn to respect each other and their children. A few simple steps can go a long way:

• Spouses should not correct each other in front of the children.
  Unless it is a life or death situation, things will need to wait until after the children are in bed, or mom and dad need to send the children to play in their room for a little while so things can get discussed out of earshot. (1)
• Parents should not use critical or harsh language when correcting a child.
  Don’t call your child names. Address the behavior but realize that your child is a person who consists of more than one undesirable behavior. If your child brings home a bad grade, don’t say “You’re lazy.” Instead, point out that “You are too smart for this grade. How can you study harder next time?” Similarly, if your child’s room is a mess, don’t say “You’re a slob!” Instead, offer “How can we clean your room and keep it neat? What can you do differently to make sure at the end of the day all your toys are picked up?”(2)
• Parents must teach, by example, how to show appreciation.
  Spouses must set the pace. Fathers should thank their wives for the meals they prepared. Mothers should take the time to ask the husbands how their day at work was. Children who grow up in an atmosphere with “please” and “thank you” will quickly learn to implement these words themselves. If little Johnny hears his dad thanking mom for the food she dished up, eventually, little Johnny will follow suit (since young boys thrive on imitating their dads) and begin to thank mom for the meals. Children must also be appreciated. Catch them when they’re doing something right! Don’t wait until they commit an infraction to talk to them about their behavior. Instead, if little Johnny was able to sit through a whole restaurant meal without whining, complaining, getting out of his chair, or wearing his potatoes, thank him for his grown up behavior as you leave. Tell him that you appreciate his using his good manners. (3)

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(1) Proverbs 11:12
(2) Proverbs 15:1
(3) Proverbs 16:24

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