Lesson 1: What is a Christian Home?

Old movies, especially those we see around Christmas time, do a lot to contribute to our opinions of what a Christian home should look like. The same is true for the old sitcoms. If we combine the two, we may be left to think that a Christian home has a father (who is served by his wife and children), a mother (who serves the father and the children), and the children, who serve the father, and sometimes live in fear of being discovered when they did something wrong. Additionally, we may learn that the father will sit down at Christmas and read from a thick book of folktales and all live happily ever after.

While this little glimpse into a Stepford version of Utopia may appear genuine, it is far removed from the truth of life and from the truth of spirituality.

We must therefore come to an understanding of what the Scriptures say about a Christian home, the roles the parents play, and the roles they must avoid.

The Role of the Father

The family has a built-in authority structure: the husband is the uncontested leader of the wife and the parents jointly are the leaders of the children. Many a time the supporting Scripture has been used to justify a man who seeks to be served, and who seeks to keep his wife under “his thumb”. Nothing could be further from the truth! Biblical leadership is a form of serving rather than of tyranny. (1) Just as Christ sought to give the church everything it needed, even at the expense of His own life, so the father must look after his wife’s interests at his own expense.

Following this principle allows the father to set the tone for the household. The building of a strong family life must always be a top priority in a father’s service of God. It is unspiritual for a father to neglect this role, or to delegate it to someone else. In order to achieve this, the father must love God first and foremost, then his wife and then the children. His love for his wife must be underscored by the fact that he commits to the family unit 100% and does not see divorce as an option. His love for his children is underscored by the fact that they are secure in the fact that the world does not revolve around them, but instead, that they fit in neatly within a functioning family.

True spiritual leadership of a family unit requires

• the father to make a choice whether or not he will follow God wholeheartedly and also lead his family in this path, and then follow through with the strength of his conviction. (2)
• the father to pray with his wife and with the children
• the father to provide for his family financially, so they will not fear eviction, homelessness, hunger, or medical neglect (3)
• the father to fulfill the role of mentor to his children, be it on spiritual matters or be it on manners at the dinner table
• the father to deal with each child in fairness, and never, ever, play favorites. (4)
• the father to be compassionate, understanding, and forgiving (5)
• the father to be encouraging and comforting to his children (6)
• the father to apologize quickly and without prompting (7)

(1) Ephesians 5:22-6:4
(2) Joshua 24:15
(3) 1 Timothy 5:8
(4) Proverbs 17:15
(5) Psalm 103:8-14
(6) 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
(7) 1 Peter 5:5

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