Baby Care: First Year

Lesson 3: Bonding: Building Attachment

Working and Attachment

Staying home with your baby is the ideal arrangement for both mother and baby, but it's not always possible, especially when parents have become conditioned to a two-income standard of living. When you and your baby are separated, you lose some of the benefits of being together. Your level of attachment is lessened, his stress hormones are higher, and his growth hormones are lower.

Make the most of your parental leave by practicing full-time attachment parenting. Becoming attached early can make later separation less traumatic for your baby. In developing a strong attachment to him, you may find that you no longer wish to return to work. Evaluate your income needs. Deduct from your paycheck amount the costs of convenience food, transportation, work clothes, child care, and increased medical care due to more frequent illnesses for a child care baby. Ask yourself if your remaining income is worth the separation.

If you do return to work, stay connected to your baby during the day by pumping milk, calling home or the day care center, and keeping him in your mind. Reconnect at home by breastfeeding, carrying your baby, and sharing sleep.

Choose a nurturing and responsive caregiver. There are several potential child care arrangements. A familiar caregiver who comes to your home may be the least traumatic for your baby. If your workplace has on-site day care, you can check in on him several times each day. If they don't have on-site care, you can join with other mothers and lobby for it.

(See pages 380 to 384 in The Baby Book for information on choosing a caregiver.)

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