Lesson 2: Newborn Care: Getting a Good Start

You instinctively know how to meet your baby's basic needs, and there is much you can learn to enrich the bonding experience for both of you. In this lesson, we will discuss ways to build attachment with your baby beginning with the minutes after his birth, what to expect during his first checkup, and how to meet his initial bodily needs. The more time you spend getting to know your baby, the more you will gain confidence in your ability to help him thrive.

Birth Bonding

Stay in bed with your newborn. Hold her against your skin and feed her frequently according to her cues. Breastfeeding, which causes your body to release the relaxing hormone prolactin, is just what you and she need after the birth. If you choose instead to feed her formula, hold her close. This early bonding helps you develop attachment later. Keep her close to your body most, if not all, of the time. This closeness is her transition from being in your womb. She is comforted by your familiar heartbeat and voice. Any time she spends out of touch with you, she will spend in longing.

Look at your baby. Feel the rush of mothering emotions. Her puffy, slitted eyes open occasionally to look at you. They are probably blue or grey in color, but may change. She can see and follow movement, and she can focus on you at about ten inches, the distance from her nursing position at your breast to your face. Her nose is flattened and her head is elongated from her trip down the narrow birth canal. You feel a soft area on her head (called the fontanel) where her skull bones come together. There's a tough membrane under this soft area so it's ok to touch. She might have hair, but it may fall out and its color may change. The tops of her ears may be pinned back or folded over. Red pimply patches (called milia) may cover her forehead, nose, and eyelids. They will disappear within a few weeks. Don't squeeze them. Her neck is obscured by fat rolls.

Touch her. Stroking your baby stimulates her to breathe more rhythmically. Her pink-purple skin may be covered in a white substance, and she may have hair on her shoulders and back. Her hands and feet are wrinkled and bluish. Her arms and legs are flexed toward her chest and abdomen. Feel her quick heartbeat. It's twice as fast as yours. Her breathing is light and irregular for the first few hours.

Your touch is therapeutic. Babies grow and develop better when they are regularly touched. Massage sessions also help you and her stay connected. (See pages 93 to 98 in The Baby Book for information and instructions on infant massage.)

Talk to her. She recognizes your voice. Her father's voice may be particularly familiar since lower tones are heard more easily through amniotic fluid.

Respond to her cries. She is trying to communicate a need to you. With practice, your parent-infant communication system of cue and response will get better and better.

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