Baby Care: First Year

Lesson 1: New Parenthood: Postpartum Family Adjustments

Developing a Parenting Style

We all want to raise happy, healthy children, and we want to enjoy raising them, but there is no one right way to reach these goals. Each child is different and each parent is different. The most important practice is to follow your instincts regardless of how your choices compare with anyone else's opinions on the best way to raise a child. If you desire guidance to help you through the vulnerable period of new parenthood, choose an approach, rather than a method, that you can use as a starting point to build your own parenting style. Read a lot, and talk to other parents, but be sure to use your heart, as well as your head, when you consider the many arguments for different approaches to child rearing. Remember that, because you know your baby better than anyone else, you are the expert on him. Never act against your instincts, because no method will work if you don't believe in what you're doing. Get to know your baby, stay close to him, and you will always know what to do.

The newer a parenting practice is, and the farther from nature's way, the more risk you take in practicing it because it is experimental for our species. Beware of pseudoscientists who don't consider the needs and nature of children when designing parent-centered methods to make parenting more convenient for you. Your instincts are your instructions on parenting your specific child and are guaranteed to be the best for him. These instructions developed by trial and error over millions of years.

"Attachment parenting" is a flexible approach that encourages modern parents to follow their instincts. In their book, The Attachment Parenting Book, and also in your text, The Baby Book, Dr. William and Martha Sears offer tips and tools for bonding and building attachment with your baby such as always responding sensitively to your baby's cues and keeping him close.

Jean Liedloff's "continuum concept" is a philosophy that explores the differences between humans raised the natural human way and those raised by pseudoscientific methods. Her concept supports many attachment parenting practices such as breastfeeding, carrying your young baby, and sharing sleep. She discourages a child-centered parenting style that leaves your baby confused about how to be a human. He needs to watch and participate in your daily activities to learn from you how he will behave.

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