Lesson 1: New Parenthood: Postpartum Family Adjustments
During this course you will gain guidance and inspiration for use throughout your parenting journey. We will discuss valuable information on many aspects of baby care including postpartum family adjustments, basic newborn care, bonding and attachment, growth and development, feeding and nutrition, safety, and health. Through creative exercises, you will learn about your child and yourself . Have paper, pen or pencil, and crayons (or other tools for coloring) available. The point of the creative exercises is not to create a polished work of art, but to express your feelings and get in touch with your subconscious. At the end of each lesson, I may also ask you to do additional reading in your text, visit websites, and post responses to questions on the discussion board.
Your recommended text, The Baby Book, by Dr. William and Martha Sears, is a comprehensive baby care book that covers the first two years of your child's life. Familiarize yourself with the contents and index because this book may well become your baby care bible. I will refer to it often throughout this course. I also recommend The Continuum Concept, by Jean Liedloff and The Wonder of Girls and The Wonder of Boys, by Michael Gurian. At the end of this course, you will find a list of additional resources for further study.
Note: I will address mothers when the subject requires it, but the information is for both parents and other caregivers. I'll alternate between using him or her in reference to your baby.
In this first lesson, we will discuss ways to successfully adjust to life with your new baby, to maintain your marital relationship, and to develop your own parenting style.
Successful Postpartum Adjustments
Successful adjustment to life with your new baby requires realistic expectations. If things are not what you expected, try to be patient and flexible. The early weeks with your newborn are a time to learn to fit together as a family. You will be giving a lot of energy to your baby in the beginning. If this doesn't come naturally to you, think of it as an important investment that will pay off in the future. Focus on the good feelings you get when you and your baby are close. Be easy on yourself. Parenting a newborn is hard work, but it is rewarding, as was labor and childbirth.
Your priority is to get to know your baby by learning to read and respond appropriately to her cues. Leave everything else to someone else. When friends and family offer to help, let them do your chores, or just let your chores wait. Don't be afraid to send well-meaning helpers away. These first weeks can be physically and emotionally draining. Rest and relax.
Many new parents, particularly mothers, experience after-birth depression. Our modern society is baby-centered so new parents don't always get the support they need. It's normal for mothers to experience hormonal changes and body fatigue while birth wounds heal; and for fathers to feel left out of the initial mother-baby bonding process. Fortunately, your baby's high-need newborn period passes, and you settle into a comfortable parenting routine. Until then, think motherly and fatherly thoughts, communicate your feelings, and rest when you can.
If after-birth depression doesn't subside by the end of the first few weeks when your hormones should be back in balance, or if your depression seems to be getting worse, you may need to seek help. If your depression is noticeable to the people around you, it's serious enough to warrant a call to your doctor.
New parents are particularly vulnerable to baby advice that implies that they aren't doing the best for their baby. If you're confused about what to do, ask yourself what action feels right. Ask for guidance when you need it, but never act against your instincts, because nature has given you all the knowledge you need to appropriately care for your baby.
If you didn't get off to the start you hoped for, begin again as if it were your baby's first day. Hold her, look at her, and talk to her.
