Lesson 4: Writing Letters

Gender Neutral Writing, Names and Titles

In business, you won't always know very much about the person you're addressing. Often, you won't know what sex that person is. There are businesswomen who will throw away letters addressed 'Dear Sir' unread, so, if you're uncertain, it's safer to write 'Dear Sir/Madam'.

Many women are sensitive about the titles by which they are referred to - 'Mrs.', 'Miss' or 'Ms.' In some instances you may know that the addressee is female, but not know her title. In these cases, 'Ms' is the safer option, since it won't cause offense by making assumptions about marital status, but it is sometimes perceived as overly formal or as indicative of a political agenda.

Where an addressee's title is 'Dr.', 'Prof.', 'Rev'' or similar, you can usually expect to be forgiven for not knowing. In the case of religious and titled individuals whose status you are aware of, it is more important to use the correct forms of address if you wish to make a good impression. A monarch should be addressed as 'your Majesty'; his or her children, and those grandchildren directly in line to the throne, as 'your Highness'. A bishop should be addressed as 'your Grace'. A judge should be addressed as 'your honor'.

Remember that people from non-English speaking countries may use different titles. In these cases, you should endeavor to find out their preferred titles (or the usual ones for that country) before addressing them.

When writing to members of the same household, it is inappropriate to assume that they all have the same surname. These days, many married women choose to keep their maiden names, and people change their names for a variety of reasons. The children of remarried parents may keep their original surnames. For this reason, if you are unable to find out a person's name, it is wise to ask or to try and avoid using it. Likewise, if you are required to pronounce a name which you're not sure about you should ask politely whether or not you have got the pronunciation correct. Few people will take offense at a mistake if you are ready to be corrected. To improve your chances of getting it right first time, you can try asking for advice from a friend or colleague with an apparently similar cultural background. If you think you may forget the name but will need to know it in future, make a private note of the way you would pronounce it by writing it down the way it sounds to you.

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