Lesson 1: How To Recognize an Abusive Relationship
Emotional/Verbal Abuse
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me." Do you remember hearing this nursery rhyme on the playgrounds at school? Unfortunately, this isn't true. Names do hurt and they could be demeaning and cause psychological harm.
Verbal and Emotional Abuse is the invisible abuse that leaves no evidence of bruises or physical injury. It is when the abuser plays mind games, insults a person's views and beliefs, puts down the way a person looks or dresses, and the abuser is a master manipulator.
The abuse is harming to the soul and the victim becomes emotionally crippled and his/her spirit is shattered. Hearing the words "you are no good," "you are stupid," and "you are a loser" are words that kick us in the gut and tear out our hearts.
This kind of abuse never hits the headlines or the news. The abuser doesn't serve jail time and he/she simply gets away with it if the victim doesn't stand up and do something about it.
The following is designed to help you determine whether or not you are in a verbally abusive relationship:
Does your partner:
Put you down?
Put down your dreams and goals?
Criticizes you?
Tell you how to dress?
Threaten to use a weapon against you?
Make you feel crazy? Play mind games?
Always misunderstands what you are saying?
Do you:
Ever wonder and ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?"
Ever tell your partner to "stop?" Do you fight back?
Make excuses for your partner?
Exercise #1
When you and your partner get into an argument, do you find yourself crying all the time? Are you the one who always ends up saying you're sorry?
Exercise #2
Think about all the words your partner says to you, are they nice and loving words? Does he/she always seem to put you down? Rate your self-esteem on the scale of 1-10. 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. Why do you feel that you rated yourself so high or low?
websites
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hppb/familyviolen...
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/e...
http://www.joyful-living.com/question86....
Suggested Readings
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans
Wednesday's Children by Suzanne Summers
