Lesson 1: How To Recognize an Abusive Relationship
Physical Abuse
As we grow and form our own relationships, the outcome is determined by how we were raised. We stand by the good morals and values our parents instill in us and we treat people the way we want to be treated.
Abuse is a part of our lives and one of the reasons is from learned behavior. Many people may have seen their fathers beat their mothers and mothers beat their fathers. Some of us may have watched our parents stand by and take it. This behavior becomes a revolving cycle. It is then repeated in our relationships and we tend to believe that this is normal or even a "family matter." Of course, there are many other reasons why people abuse, like psychological reasons or they may have been abused themselves. But whatever the reason is, it shouldn't excuse one's behavior. No one deserves to be abused.
Many people may not recognize that they are victims of domestic violence. If one was battered as a child, they believe that the abuse is natural and that hitting someone you love is okay.
There are several types of abuse, one being Physical Abuse.
A woman is battered every 18 seconds in the United States.
Physical Abuse - hitting, choking, shoving, slapping, punching, biting, kicking, sexual assault, sexual battery, assault and battery, disorderly conduct, throwing of objects, threaten or injure with weapon.
Disorderly Conduct - punching walls, offensive language, kicking in doors.
Simple Assault - an attack without a weapon, attempted assault without a weapon and verbal threats of assault. Minor injuries include black eyes, bruises, and swelling.
Sexual Assault - forcing or threatening someone to engage in a sexual act.
Weapon - gun, knives, shotgun, revolver.
Take the time to answer these questions
Does your partner:
Hit, slap, push, choke, kick, or bite you?
Force you to have sex?
Throw objects at you?
Break things in front of you?
Kick in doors? Punch walls?
Have a history of bad relationships? Other partners?
Parents? Friends? Siblings?
Abuse animals?
Abuse the children either verbally or physically or both?
Have you ever:
Lied about your bruises?
Visited the emergency room?
Made excuses for your partner's actions?
Cleaned up his/her mess?
Told anyone what you are going through?
Exercise #1
Write a letter to your partner or to the person who is abusing you. Tell them how you feel when they abuse you and let them know how you want to be treated. Rip the letter into shreds and throw it out when you are done.
Exercise #2
Write a letter to yourself. Write the letter as if you are writing to a friend. Tell that friend how you feel about her and what your dreams and hopes are for her.
Exercise #3
Write a letter to a family member or a friend. Tell them what you are going through.
