Hearing Loss

Lesson 2: Recovery From the Emotional Trauma of Hearing Loss

Things Can Always Be Worse

One afternoon a few years ago, I was driving home. I was stopped at a light when I saw a woman crossing the street. She walked in a slow, hesitant manner and then I saw her white cane.

The first thought that went through my head was how scary that must be for her. Not being able to see, she couldn't know for sure she was safe. All she had to help her was the white cane. Then I realized that even though it’s hard being deaf and often seems unfair to have lost my hearing, things could always be worse. From that day on, I stopped calling it a handicap and I made up my mind to look at it as a challenge.

My husband and I were at a cocktail party a year and a half ago. One of his business associates came up to me and we explained that I can’t hear but I would do my best to read his lips. After asking me several questions about what it’s like and how it happened, he asked, "which would you rather be? Blind or deaf?"

I was shocked by the question. He asked it in the same way one would ask, "which do you prefer, coffee or tea?" My answer to him wasn’t very diplomatic, but the incident reminded me how lucky I really am. When you’re thinking about how awful it is that you can’t hear – that it’s always a struggle, that you don’t enjoy parties, movies, music, or theater anymore - remember that things can always be worse. Can you still see the faces of those you love? Can you read a book? Can you do the things you want to do? Are you reasonably healthy? Can you smile? Breathe on your own?

I’m not suggesting it’s fun to be unable to hear. I’m certainly not saying I would have chosen this to happen. But as in all aspects of life, it’s what you make of it. No matter what our situation is, there is always someone worse off.

We must always remember to be grateful for the good things in our lives and not dwell on the bad. My father repeated this little saying to me often when I was growing up and it helped keep things in perspective: I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

How true it is.

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