Hearing Loss

Lesson 1: Emotional Trauma of Hearing Loss

Sense of Isolation

When your hearing is cut off, you start to feel isolated. Even worse, you start isolating yourself. You can see, but you can't hear what's going on around you. You feel like you can no longer communicate effectively and feel left out. The sense of isolation can be frightening, depressing and lonely. It can make you feel helpless, frustrated, resentful and angry. You are not alone. Richard Carmen says in Hearing Loss & Hearing Aids "when you're isolated, you cut yourself off from the world around you and from the people you love."

I've asked my family to stuff cotton in their ears and walk around like that for a day so they could see what life is like for me. They were extremely uncomfortable and didn't last a full day. Most people are sympathetic to our plight but they don't truly understand what it feels like. It's not their fault. I couldn't imagine it either, even after it happened to me.

There are ways to minimize the feeling of isolation but the most important thing is to not isolate yourself physically. When we can't hear and we feel lonely in a crowd, it's easier to stay home than go somewhere; it's easier to be alone than with friends. I've done that and believe my experience – it's more harmful than helpful. Cutting yourself off doesn't help the problem. It just makes you lonely and resentful.

It may take some time for you to get used to coping methods, but the sooner you try, the sooner your life will feel normal again. It's very important to keep in mind that you haven't done anything wrong and you shouldn't be embarrassed by your hearing loss. It's something that happened to you, not something you chose to do.

Don't be afraid to tell people you’re hearing impaired. Tell them up front – let them know you may need them to repeat themselves and to speak slowly.

In some types of hearing loss, louder doesn’t clarify – it distorts. If that's how it is to you, do tell them not to speak louder.

Don’t give up the things that make you feel like part of society. There are devices that can help, which we’ll go into in Lesson 3. Even if it’s hard for you, don’t retreat from the world. It may take a little work at first, but stay connected to friends and family. Isolation just adds to the trauma and depression.

Some Dos and Don’ts to avoid isolation:

1. Don’t stop doing the things you usually do – for example: classes, meetings, parties, conferences, shopping, volunteering.
2. Do tell people you’re hearing impaired right up front and tell them you might need them to repeat themselves or talk slower. If appropriate, tell them louder won’t make a word clear to you. You may need them to try another word instead.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask someone to repeat something. "I’m sorry, I missed that. Could you repeat it for me, please?" is polite and appropriate.
4. Don’t avoid your friends and relatives. Use any of the numerous assistive devices mentioned in this course and keep in touch with people you care about.
5. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.
6. Do keep your sense of humor. You’re still you.

Optional Reading
Please refer to:

• Hearing Loss & Hearing Aids, pages 10 & 11

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