Lesson 8: Homeschooling for the Long Run
Returning to Traditional School
The idea of discontinuing your homeschool is probably not something you really want to think about before you even begin. However, thinking about it and planning for it, even if it never happens, brings an element of safety to your school. None of us can look ahead and see what will happen to our families.
There are many reasons a student might return to school. Homeschooling is very difficult and requires an odd set of skills. Many families, even those who homeschool successfully, discover that it really isn’t the best option for them. Other parents never intend to homeschool permanently. Homeschooling is simply a way to escape a difficult teacher or to build skills and confidence before returning the child to school. Some parents must stop homeschooling when their family situation or finances change. These are not failures. They are simply changes in the way the family operates.
Be aware of what the public school is teaching at each grade level. You may not choose to teach the same items, but you should at least be aware of what your child would need to know if he returned to school. In general, if you are careful about reading and math, as far as your child’s disability allows, your child will be fine.
Make sure your child learns to study in an unquiet environment. My children took some classes at the public school while homeschooling, and found the noise to be a serious challenge. Consider having your children study at the library one afternoon a week.
Teach your child to obey and learn from other adults. You can enroll them in classes, take them to church and clubs, or leave them with sitters. It is helpful for them to learn that different people have different rules and different ways of doing things. Discuss with them how to know when to obey a rule that is different than yours and when to protest. If they protest, have them practice. One of my children was ordered to taste something that her religion prohibited, in the name of “science.” When the teacher wouldn’t back down, she remembered that I had told her how to handle the problem. She left the classroom and went to the office for help.
If you decide to return your children to school, please be considerate of those who will begin homeschooling later. Present your experience in a positive light to the school administrators. You can tell them that you accomplished what you brought your children home to do or that your family situation has changed. Please don’t tell them that homeschooling was a disaster and that it doesn’t work. Even if it didn’t work for you, it does for others. School officials consistently throw such statements back at parents who are planning to homeschool and legislators use these stories as “proof” that homeschooling is bad for children.
Before returning your children to school, have a long talk with them about the experience. Discuss what good has come from your time together and what you all have learned. Present it as a time you spent together. If there were serious problems, talk about those too. If you feel your relationship was damaged due to stress, work it out and figure out why it didn’t work.
Homeschooling isn’t right for every child or every parent. It is one more option a parent can choose when deciding how to cope with a child’s disability. If you decide it wasn’t for you, don’t think in terms of failure. I returned one child to public school for a year and a half. The time we had together was somewhat stressful because I tried to hard to be what I thought I was supposed to be. In spite of the challenges, I don’t consider the time a waste. We accomplished a great deal in helping her rebuild confidence and self-esteem. She learned adaptation skills and fixed a few learning challenges. We had some fun together without her younger siblings, including “hooky” days when we skipped school and went off to play together. Those were possibly more important than the official school days. Focus on what was right, and be proud. You made some tremendous sacrifices for your child. The decision to test homeschooling was an act of love.
There is only one more section in this course. It’s the really important one.
