Lesson 2: Creating a Personal Philosophy
Does my child need a disability label?
Children who have special needs usually require a label in public or private school. A label, in disability terms, means a specific name for the disability. Schools seldom offer services without knowing what the child’s disability is. The label becomes a way to receive services. But what about the child who is homeschooled and is not receiving services? Does he need a label? Do you, as his teacher, need a label for him?
There are good opinions both ways, but perhaps this story will help you decide, if you do not have a disability of your own:
When I was a child, I was considered very bright. I was reading before I began kindergarten and carried a Nancy Drew mystery in my kindergarten book bag. I was ahead of my class in most subjects, but there were some areas that just didn’t match. I struggled with math, and my handwriting was slow and unreadable. I had trouble staying focused and I found it hard to process what I heard. I was told again and again that my IQ was very high, and therefore, there was no excuse for my messy or forgotten homework or for the poorly scored or incomplete tests I turned in. Every teacher accused me of laziness.
I knew I was not lazy. I really did try, but I couldn’t seem to conquer these problems. Since I knew, despite what the teachers told me, that I was not lazy, I was sure there was only one other solution. The teachers were also wrong about my intelligence and I was really stupid.
I took great pride in being smart and I lived in terror that someone would find out how stupid I really was. I didn’t even try to explain to myself why a stupid child read Shakespeare in fifth grade. I just believed it and hid it. After all, contradictions were a normal part of my learning experiences.
Many years later, my daughter was diagnosed with dysgraphia, ADD, and auditory processing disorder. As I listened to the list of symptoms the doctor offered, I silently checked off each one--as being a part of me! I was so excited. Finally I understood that I was not stupid. I was only learning disabled. Did it hurt my self-esteem to be learning disabled? Not a bit. It hurt my self-esteem to be stupid. I could cope with a disability. I understood, being the parent of a child with cerebral palsy, that a disability was just a condition that could be dealt with. Our philosophy was that a disabled person could do anything, but he might have to do it differently. So, if I had a disability, I just needed to find new ways to learn. I could do that, and my confidence soared. I have since taken classes at college and collected top grades, become a professional writer and tackled other tasks that were too intimidating when I was “stupid.”
Obviously, my own vote is to offer the label. The secret to successful labeling is attitude. If the label becomes an excuse to avoid life or to do less than his best, a label is harmful to a child. This is particularly true when the parent uses the label to avoid parenting. Nothing annoys my ADD children more than to hear a parent who is allowing his child to create havoc say, “Oh, there’s nothing I can do. He’s hyperactive, you know.” They believe that this cop-out is unfair to the parents who do offer discipline to their children, and to the children themselves, who must at some point in their lives learn to behave if they want to hold down jobs or have friends.
The label should never be an excuse. It is an explanation. The label helps the child to understand the things that are difficult to do. It is also a tool for finding resources. I know that I have dysgraphia, so I can search the library and the internet to learn more about dysgraphia, how it affects my brain, and how to accommodate my challenges. Knowing that ADD is the reason I am disorganized helps me to believe that I can learn to overcome those challenges through compensating techniques.
The arguments against labeling are that they hurt self-esteem or become a crutch. If a parent chooses to use the label wisely, they do not need to be either. By the time my second child was three, her cerebral palsy caused few problems. However, we knew it could in the future, so we wanted her to know she had it. We mentioned it often, not as a tragedy, but as a casual fact. Long before she knew what it meant or before it had any real meaning to her, she knew she had it and told others comfortably. When it later did cause difficulties, we didn’t have the awkward complications of explaining it to her.
Most parents would gladly tell a child she is visually challenged or has cerebral palsy. The issues are more of a problem when dealing with learning disabilities, which do not show. However, if we think of these challenges as being no different than any other, it should not be seen as a terrible thing to say, “You have ADD. It’s harder for you to sit still than it is for some children, but you can learn to sit when you have to. We’ll work on it together.”
For an opposing viewpoint, see this site: Homeschool Information Library: Special Situations. This site tends to use scare tactics to make parents afraid to request services. Approach with caution.
