Lesson 1: Could I...Should I...How Would I?
Effectively Removing Your Child From School
Removing your child from his current school is sometimes the most difficult part of the entire process. The schools often fight you when you try to do this, and they will tell you things that aren’t true or aren’t kind. They receive extra funding for your special needs child and they do not want you to leave. In addition, they often feel you are insulting them by saying that you, without training, can do what they could not.
There are several things to remember as you begin this process. First, you may need the school in the future. There is nothing at all to be gained by severing your relationship with them. You may be hurt and angry at the way you and your child have been treated in the past, but it is time now to forget all of that and to be kind. When I pulled my younger children out of school, I ignored all the problems and simply reminded the principal that the teachers felt the school did not have the programs my children needed. I assured him that I appreciated all he and the teachers had done to this point, but that I felt that they most needed one-on-one attention and a personalized curriculum. Relieved that I didn’t intend to destroy his reputation, he told me that he approved of my decision and agreed that they would benefit from learning at home.
The process is not always this easy. You should approach this moment prepared to be as professional or more professional than those you will be dealing with. Prepare a written notification of departure, stating that you will be withdrawing your child from public school on a specific date in order to homeschool him according to the laws of the state. (Name the section of code to sound really impressive.) Don’t accuse anyone or list any reasons at this time. Sign and date the typed statement.
Deliver this to the school a week or two in advance and carry a copy of the laws, as well as any documents you may need in a conversation. Dress in business attire and sound calm and assured. If you sound at all apologetic, you will mark yourself as a target. If asked why you are doing this, tell them that you feel at this point your child could benefit from a few months of intense one-on-one instruction. If they believe this is temporary, they will be less challenging and by the next year, they will have forgotten you anyway.
If you are told that you are not allowed to homeschool a disabled child, hand the interviewer a copy of the laws and point out to him that homeschooling is legal. Tell him you have done extensive research to be sure you are in compliance. Tell the interviewer that you appreciate all the school has done and you may well return your child to school next year, but that you want to give him some specialized attention for a few months. You may need to bring out school evaluations, reports or other documents that show that the school has not been effective-for instance, unmet IEP goals. (Don’t bother unless you are being attacked.) Tell the interviewer that while you intend to teach all the subjects, you want to focus on a few areas that you feel will make him a better student in the future. Be prepared to outline those goals without sounding accusing.
You may be asked if you have a degree. If a degree is not required to homeschool in your state, don’t answer the question directly. Say, “It really doesn’t matter if I do or not. Studies have shown that public school students perform in direct relationship to their parents’ educations, but that homeschooling students excel regardless of their parents’ education. The deciding factor in homeschooling is parental involvement and motivation, and I assure you that I am very motivated.” Then quickly change the subject. If the interviewer persists, you may need to remind him, if this is true, that your child is already behind while being taught by professionals. One-on-one instruction personalized to the learning style and abilities of the child have always been considered the most effective way to teach and you feel that this is in his best interest at this time.
For more information on research relating to homeschool see these online articles:
A nationwide study of home education: early indications and wider implications from Education Now, Summer 1999, No. 24
Homeschooling Comes of Age: See the section labeled Report Card.
Parents’ Literacy This article is not about homeschooling but shows that parental involvement is the determining factor in a child’s educational success.
Remember that you most likely do not require the school’s permission to homeschool. If this is true, end the interview by standing up and thanking the interviewer for his time. If you need something from the school, tell him firmly but politely what you need and when you will be in to obtain it. Then leave.
