Lesson 8: Lesson 8 - Prevention and Other Tid Bits
Talking About ADHD with Your Child
Once parents have accepted a diagnosis of ADHD, they still might feel a reluctance to talk about it with their kids. However, avoiding the issue doesn’t help your child in the long run. If your child had diabetes or some other medical condition, would you avoid talking to him about it?
When should you talk to them? Let them be your guide. They will start asking questions. They may hear the kids at school calling them weird or “hyper”. When they enter school, they will be aware that they are always getting into trouble because they talk out of turn, or can’t sit still and do their work, or find it difficult to follow the rules. They will be wondering, why does this always happen to me? Be empathetic. Let them know you understand how hard it is for them to do this and why it is happening. Keep your explanations simple and within their level of understanding, but be honest. Give them only as much information as they can handle. Each child is different. Avoid labels whenever possible.
But talk about what they already are aware of: difficulty in attending; becoming distracted easily; always bouncing off the walls or perpetual motion, etc. Sometimes it is easier for children, especially younger children, to understand if information is put into the context of a story. They might be compared with a car that is running down hill without brakes, or as authors Garber and Spizman suggest, relating it to animals in the jungle such as the “concept of a tiger in their tank” to explain their constant movement. Then taming that tiger or learning how to put on the brakes can become a plan of action for both parents and child and one that the child will be motivated to work towards.
For older children there are books that help explain what is happening and ways to deal with it such as Putting on the Brakes, by Patrician O. Quinn and Judith M. Stern.
As you talk about ADHD, encourage your child to learn ways to control his symptoms. The book If Your Child Is Hyperactive, Inattentive, Impulsive, Distractible…, by Stephen W. Garber, Marianne Daniels Garber, and Robyn Freedman Spizman not only describes ways to tell your child about ADHD, but has many skill building and training exercises to help your child control his activity levels, control his impulses and extend his attention span. Tell your child you want to work together on ways to help him succeed. Validate his feelings. Problem-solve ways he can handle name calling or other peer problems.
