  |
|
|
|
Lesson 7: Lesson 7 - Surviving the School Years- What can I do as a parent? - Establilsh a working relationship with your child's teacher - Share what is working and address your concerns - Don't be afraid to ask questions or communicate assertively - Home-school rating system - Listen - Sending a thank you - Keeping an on-going record of your child's progress - Designing a homework routine - School work between school and home - Homework assignment What Can I Do As A Parent?1. Decide to Become Involved. You are your child’s best advocate. That doesn’t mean you bully your school officials. It does mean you look for constructive ways to work with your child’s school. You want your child to succeed. Your child is learning more than reading, writing and arithmetic; he is learning a lot about himself and how he fits in the world.
2. Establish a Working Relationship with your Child’s Teacher. Ask for a conference with your child’s teacher before school begins. Explain why you are coming in for the appointment. Bring to the conference with you a list of your academic and behavioral concerns as well as your child’s strengths and assets and what you consider to be his weak points. Let the school know if your child has been officially diagnosed with ADHD and whether he is on any medications. It is better if both parents can be at this meeting, but if that is not possible take another support person with you. Try to establish a win-win atmosphere during this meeting. Remember, teachers are often overworked, have many individual student concerns and may be reluctant to deal with additional problems. Indicate your willingness to work together to make this team effort as easy as possible for both of you, which can prevent future problems. While standing up for the rights of your child, it is very important to understand that you may need to compromise. Determine the most important priorities in advance. 3. Share what is working. Have you initiated a home token program? Tell the teacher how it is working. Does encouragement or visual explanations help? Share what you do and how it might work in the classroom. Tell her how you use time out. Tell him about how wonderful your child is and that not only you want him to succeed but he wants to succeed as well. 4. Address your concerns. What are the most difficult things for your son or daughter to do? Does he have difficulty playing with children? Are you afraid of the labels that might be placed on him or her? Do you fear the school might not be discreet about the medications your child is on? Are you afraid he will be put down and get so discouraged that he will stop trying? Ask how as a teacher, she motivates her students. 5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or communicate assertively. By writing down your main points ahead of time and even practicing speaking them, you will be able to speak more confidently and assertively while clarifying the points you want to make. What is the teacher’s philosophy about test taking and homework? Completing class work and homework is a source of intense frustration for ADHD children. If there is too much quantity, the work will suffer in neatness and accuracy. If the amount of work is overwhelming to the ADHD child, he will simply avoid doing it, refuse to do it, lose it or forget it. Can his academic tasks be broken into smaller, more manageable parts? Long, timed tests can also be overwhelming to an ADHD child. Does the teacher have any suggestions about this? 80% of ADHD children have difficulty with penmanship. They can often verbalize things easily but will have a lot of difficulty writing lengthy reports. Would a visual presentation be acceptable from time to time or is typed reports acceptable? While you want your child to improve, it is a long, hard struggle for them. Will his grades suffer as a result? Will the classroom rules be clearly explained at the beginning of the school year? ADHD children function best in a structured environment where the expectations are clearly defined and routines are established. ADHD children have difficulty with transitions, especially from an unstructured activity such as gym or recess to a structured one that requires self-restraint and independent work. Giving children a few minutes of quiet time to readjust helps, as does a very definite routine. 6. Home-School Rating System. Use goal cards that go back and forth between school and home. Choose targeted behaviors such as paying attention, completion of work and homework, following rules, keeping desk neat, etc. Use a 5 point scale: 1 (poor), 2 (improved), 3 (fair), 5 (excellent) or N/A. The teacher scores and initials card each day and student brings it home to the parent. Parents then use encouragement, verbal praise, or tangible rewards for successes. Reward them when they consistently bring the card home. Loss of privileges is applied when child forgets, loses or destroys goal card, or totals fall below prescribed amount for the day. Parents and child should construct a list of rewards together. Negative consequences can be: early bedtime; missed dessert; reduced playtime or TV time. First week establishes a base line during which time rewards are awarded, but no loss of privileges. When behaviors are in place for 6 weeks, gradually phase out the program. 7. Listen. It isn’t enough to ask questions and speak confidently, but it is important to listen carefully. Take notes and give feedback when in doubt. Set future conference dates to discuss progress or to problem-solve. Hopefully, any future complaints will first be directed to you as a parent before going to supervisors. Indicate your willingness to resolve problems and discuss when it would be best to set telephone conferences when necessary. Establishing an early communication link to your teacher and school helps resolve situations before they lead to a crisis. 8. Thank you. Send a thank you note to your child’s teacher after the conference, thanking them for meeting with you and their willingness to work with you. Teachers often hear only complaints. They will be much more willing to work with someone who praises as well as complains. 9. On Going Record. Keep a simple file folder to record your child’s progress. Put in it communications, conference notes, and home-school procedures that have been set up. Record improvements and what you believe is working, along with continuing problems. Share this with your child’s teacher during the year. This is a very visible indicator that you take your child’s education very serious and that you are working hard with the school to bring about success. Share this progress with your child as well. Let him know that you and the school are working together to help him succeed. It is especially important to share all the progress because you want your child to believe that you are involved, not because he is a problem, but because you care about him.
|
|
|
|
