Lesson 3: Lesson 3 - Starting with What Works
Teaching Your Child Relaxation Skills
Introduce relaxation to your child. Tell them it is fun and they will enjoy it. It might be something you incorporate into your bedtime ritual. Don’t be afraid to use humor. Humor often makes learning something new, fun and enjoyable. Here are some possibilities:
Have them lie on their back and put their hand just above their stomach (about where their diaphragm is located). Tell them you are going to practice blowing up a balloon that is in their stomach. This is a good way to introduce correct breathing. Or you might share with them the “windmill” approach: reaching over your head, breathing in and then exhaling when you drop your arms.
Tell them you are going to tell them a bedtime story where they are going to participate. Tell them you are going to take them on a wonderful journey. Have them close their eyes so they won’t be distracted.
“You are a big dragon. Dragon’s need a lot of air to do dragon stuff. (Have them do some deep breathing.) You are going to take a journey. As you go along, you need to stop from time to time to take some slow, deep breaths through your nose exhaling through your mouth. Each time you do this, your dragon’s body will become more relaxed, have more energy and be able to travel long distances. Dragons are very big, so they move very slowly.”
You can add all kinds of adventures. Create stories about new things the dragon is seeing. This is a good dragon that helps people. Once a dragon story has been put in place, returning to this dragon story can help you create stories to problem-solve, do some creative thinking, release anger, etc. Children can easily create images in their mind and using this time appropriately can help them use the dragon to resolve complex problems without feeling embarrassing emotions.
Here is a story about problem solving: take an incident on the playground. Your child is upset. He is feeling angry, anxious and fearful. He doesn’t know how to resolve it without fighting or retreating in disgrace. Have him become his loveable, dependable, reliable dragon. “The dragon is angry. So he first stops, then he takes some deep breaths and “lets go” of all his anger! He just blows it away! Then he thinks. How will he solve this problem? What does he really want to have happen? He thinks of all the consequences of his actions. He thinks of winning solutions.” As you talk, the child begins to resolve problems. The key words here are: Stop – Breathe deeply and let go of anger – Think – and then Act! The child is actively working with you and you can help guide his thinking to a responsible solution.
