Creative Writing 101
Lesson 8: Lucky Dip.
This lesson has things to say on several matters, making it a bit of a lucky dip.
Adjectives, Simile and Metaphor.
Names; Author and Book.
Names; Characters.
Punctuation in Dialogue etc.
Finally.
Writing exercise.
Adjectives, Simile and Metaphor.
ADJECTIVES.
Adjectives, the words that describe nouns, can make or break style. The right adjective can make a passage magic, but the wrong adjective is much, much worse than nothing.
Adjective choice is one strong argument for polishing your work. The first draft is for getting the skeleton down, the second for fleshing out the body. The polishing draft (which may be the third or the seventh) is where you apply the cosmetics. And that means removing most of your adjectives for good, and replacing a few of the remainder with better choices.
The first-choice adjectives were probably "natural" or "familiar" examples. This means they were probably clichéd, stale and borrowed. It also means that some will be very old fashioned.
"little puppy", "pretty cottage", "green grass", "little old lady". These are all stale adjective-noun pairings.
Puppies are usually little, at least, at first. What could you put instead? "Tiny", "minute", "miniscule", and "small" are all synonyms, and in this case they don't really help at all.
Tiny and small are just as tired as little, while minute and miniscule sound more flea-sized than puppy-sized.
Instead, try something specific.
"Wriggling puppy", "velvet puppy", "sprawling puppy", "toddling puppy", "silky puppy". All of these will bring the puppy to literary life.
Similarly, the "pretty cottage" might be "stone cottage", "picture-book cottage", "delightful cottage", "trim cottage" or "traditional cottage", while the grass could be "fresh", "jade", "cool", or "summery".
The lady might be "tall", or "gaunt". She might be "stout", "leathery", "powdered", "snow-curled", "smiling" or "stern".
DOUBLING UP.
Avoid using adjectives or adverbs that double up on what you've said already.
A "fast run", "male man", "feline cat", "slick slime" and "loud shout" are all repetitive.
Misplaced or doubled up adjectives all make us wince when we find them lurking in our work, but my best advice is not to worry about them until the polishing draft. If you let them bother you in the early stages of writing, you won't see the woods for the trees (another cliché) and will probably grind to an adjectival halt.
For an excellent explanation of appropriate and inappropriate adjectives, read Chapter 4 of 'Sin and Syntax'.
SIMILE.
A simile is another decorative item that can enhance or damage your work.
Some similes are clichés, while trying too hard for originality can make you, and your readers, cringe.
Observe the boring simile at work..
White as snow, black as coal, red as the rose, bald as a badger, bald as a billiard ball, and pale as a ghost are all tired... oh, and badgers aren't bald in any case.
Here are a few alternatives, offering different moods.
White as cotton bolls, white as swans, white as china, white as paper.
Black as charcoal, black as a floppy disc, black as shadows, black as a labrador dog.
Red as paint, red as poppies, red as the teacher's corrections.
Bald as an old teddy, bald as my knee, bald as a skinhead, bald as a razor could make him.
Pale as a vampire's victim, pale as boiled cabbage, pale as linen, pale as porridge.
METAPHOR
Metaphors are related to similes but instead of comparing one thing WITH another "white AS a sheet", "pink LIKE a terrier's tummy", a metaphor suggests that an object IS something else.
Simile - the sound ran like a river.
Metaphor - a river of sound.
Simile - the sand spread out, wide as a lake.
Metaphor - the wide lake of sand.
Metaphors are probably less commonly abused than either adjectives or similes. This may be because they are less commonly used!
When using metaphor, try for a balance between the banal and the weird.
He dived into a pool of sleep.
She faded under the bleach of the mist.
The party was a chatter of meeting and parting.
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