Creative Writing 101

Lesson 6: Dialogue.

Differentiating Voice.

If you have several characters in your novel, you will need to consider giving them different modes of speech. People from the same family sometimes have similar speech rhythms, but each should speak in a distinctive voice.

There are lots of ways to achieve this, without resorting to annoying mannerisms like phonetic baby talk or lisps.

Some characters use polysyllables whenever possible, while others will always choose simple language. Some will talk in complete sentences, while some might talk in snatches or single words. You might have a character who likes puns, and another who is always very literal. A confident character will tend to make statements, while a less confident one will suggest things, or sound apologetic.

The trick with creating separate speech habits for your characters is not to continually remind the reader. You might say once or twice that "Graham added one of his peculiar shorthand comments" or "There was Mark, sounding like a professor, as usual", but most of the time you should let your characters announce their own modes of speech.

If a linguistic peculiarity becomes tiresome, you have probably gone too far. For example, if Pete prefaces every one of his 57 remarks with "Um" that's about 35 too many.

SAID.

One thing you should avoid is using speech tags and adverbs to colour your dialogue. Most of the time, the correct speech tag is "said", plain and simple. The dialogue itself should let mood and character show. Don't rely on a constant stream of "growled", "yelled", "sighed", and "cried". Especially, don't use "gritted", "hissed" (if the word is devoid of S), "smiled" or "ground out".

Of course you won't use "said" every time, but you should save the "noisier" synonyms for special occasions.

When you write a passage of dialogue, or read one in someone else's book, take the time to look at those speech tags analytically. The troublesome words can be divided into categories.

IMPOSSIBILITIES.

You might say;

"Don't do that, please," cringed Simon. "I can't stand it!"

This is fine, because "cringed" is simply a shorthand way of saying "said Simon, cringing".

However;

"Don't do that!" ground out Simon.

In this case "ground out" is not shorthand for anything. It's just a badly used verb. Other villains include "said through clenched teeth". It is not possible to grind something out vocally, nor is it really possible to speak intelligibly through clenched teeth. Try it!

Verbs like "yelled", "growled" and "screeched" are often used when the occasion doesn't warrant them. They should be applied only if your characters are in the grip of really powerful emotion.

"Asked" is a perfectly good verb, as are "enquired" and "inquired". However, if you have a question mark at the end of someone's speech, "asked" might be redundant. You might use it once to indicate who is speaking, but leaving it out thereafter can make dialogue flow much better.

"I'm going," said Ellice.

"Where to?" asked Lil.

"Down to the beach."

"Is anyone going with you?"

"Oh yes." Ellice paused long enough to let Lil look relieved. Then she added, meanly; "The dog."

There is one adverb tacked on to a speech tag in this exchange; "meanly". Introducing that one word sets the tone of the dialogue. Because it is there, there is no need to say that Lil "asked anxiously" or that Ellice spoke "independently" or "stubbornly".

Using adverbs to qualify speech tags is lazy, and it can also create an imbalance. The dialogue itself should be interesting; it should not depend on adverbs to nag at the reader.

Authors who are skilled with dialogue can write whole long passages using no adverbs and few speech tags. The reader will have little doubt of the identity of the speaker, nor of the tone used. The characters speak in their own unmistakable voices.

FANTASY, REGIONAL AND HISTORICAL DIALOGUE.

Sometimes, you will need to write a character who cannot and should not sound just like the man in the hardware shop. How are you going to handle dialogue when the speaker is a fantasy creature, a dialect speaker or from another time?

There are several approaches, all of which have merit.

Fantasy characters might speak with an accent, or betray their origin with a slightly unusual word choice.

Instead of saying "I came up the lane and through the rose garden", an elf might say "I came by the green way and through the place of thorns".

Fantasy characters might also speak with formal Shakespearean English, or in oblique comments.

As his human self, in our world, Rafe Winter of 'Translations in Celadon' sounds just slightly more formal than the average college student. In Celadon, in his guise as the werewolf Wolf Shield, he speaks rarely, and sounds a little stilted. Here is a short passage of dialogue from the novel. Rosanna Hopestill has just spent some time as a horse and has been badly treated. Now human again, she encounters Wolf Shield in his human guise...

"I know what you are," I say. "You're a wolf. Sometimes. How do you bear it? Does the Happy One know?"

I feel his shoulders move against me as he shrugs. "The Happy One knows what he wants to know and closes his eyes to the rest. As for me - I know what I am."

"A wolf."

"A man at present. I am Wolf Shield."

"I have always been so afraid of wolves. They've been my biggest nightmare."

"Perhaps," he says, "they won't be now. Where did you come from, lady?"

"Well - I am a horse," I say. "I was, until tonight."

"I see."

"You don't believe me?"

"I do. You too are a were."

Neither character is exactly his or her usual self, but Rosanna remembers her life in our world whereas Rafe/Wolf Shield does not. She sounds more or less like a teenaged girl, but Wolf Shield speaks in a stylised fashion.

TRANSLATION CONVENTION.

Historical characters are sometimes written as if they were speaking colloquial modern English. The justification for this is that they really are speaking the "modern" English of their time. This is the same "translation convention" that some films use to let an English speaking audience understand Russian, German or Italian characters without resorting to subtitles.

GADZOOKERY.

At one time, historical characters spoke a kind of dialect known in the trade as "gadzookery", but this is usually considered old fashioned now. The modern way is for the occasional use of older slang and the cutting back of contractions to reflect a statelier mode of speech. The Regency is probably the genre where the speech is still very idiosyncratic. A Regency heroine may well exclaim; "So indeed do not I!" which takes some unravelling to the modern ear.

Just as gadzookery is out of favour, so is the spelling out of dialect and accents. A Welsh character who continually says "Look you!" will not find favour. Apart from occasional words (such as "burn" for "creek or stream" or "bach" for "shack or cottage") dialect is usually suggested by rhythm.

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