Creative Writing 101

Lesson 6: Dialogue.

Move it Along.

MOVE-ALONG DIALOGUE TECHNIQUES.

Whatever purpose the dialogue is serving in a story, it should move the plot along. Each exchange should have a reason for existing, which is one of the things that makes fictional dialogue stand apart from the real thing.

Here is an exchange between two children.

"What do you want to do?"

"Dunno."

"We could go swimming."

"OK."

"Get your towel then."

"Where is it?"

"In the cupboard."

This is realistic, but boring. It could be better expressed in a single exchange plus a bit of "business."

"We can go swimming, if you can find a towel."

"Great!" Linc ran off to fetch one from the cupboard.

Book conversations should always get somewhere, so leave out the small talk and fillers.

What if you have created a character whose conversation is supposed to be small talk and fillers? Such a person will exasperate other characters in the book, but if you follow the usual adage of "show, don't tell" you will also exasperate your readers. There is a way around this problem. Let your character make two or three inconsequential remarks, and then write in a "bridge". For example, you might put;

"Sammie babbled (or rambled, or chatted, or nagged) on, but Petrice, from long practice, tuned her out."

Otherwise, you might put;

"Sammie's voice was a familiar buzz, but Petrice scarcely listened. She had other things on her mind."

This bridging technique shows Sammie's annoying habit, without subjecting the reader to the same boredom as Petrice. It is much more effective than the other device of saying; "Sammie was a chatterbox, so Petrice didn't bother to listen."

If you have a scene where one character needs to tell another what s/he has been doing, you have two options. If your character is not telling the truth, or is telling a highly slanted version of the truth, let the story come out in dialogue. This allows the reader to appreciate the irony of the two versions of events.

If your character is giving a factual account, avoid making the reader sit through it twice by using another bridge.

"I was just leaving the house when the phone rang," began Kurt. Succinctly, he told Rosie what had happened...

Or you might put it this way;

"I was just leaving the house when the phone rang," began Kurt.

Rosie listened silently while he explained, interrupting only once.

"Wait on a minute," she said. "You didn't suspect at all? Really?"

Dialogue can be used to open a chapter or a scene, or right at the beginning of a book. A statement or question, an answer or exclamation, all bring an immediacy to the text, especially if qualified with a couple of lines of character drawing.

"You did what?" Perry's voice was dangerously low.

Rampling wished she could take it back, but it was too late now. "I told him to pack his bags," she repeated.

Or;

"I didn't do it," said Rainer for the fifth time. His chin hurt, more from clenching his teeth than the half-hearted blows he had suffered.

Dialogue openings like these draw readers right into the story.

BREAKING UP NARRATIVE.

Dialogue can be used to break up long passages of narrative which otherwise slow things down. Even if your protagonist is alone, she can always say something aloud, either to the world, to an imaginary companion or someone real who doesn't happen to be present.

Here is a mix of inner and audible dialogue breaking up a long narrative passage. Daniel, the protagonist, is trekking home after losing his lift. He has been walking through the afternoon and now night is falling.

...his legs were aching now.

Jo had been quite right. The whole trip had been a waste of time.

Daniel sighed, heavily. The mist was falling in damp swathes, and he could feel the back of his neck cringing from its damp fingers.

Gotcha! it gloated.

It was spooky, and Daniel wanted to run, but his legs could just manage a slow, mechanical plod. No way would they do the Olympic burst he needed.

"This is your fault," he said bitterly to the absent Jo. "If you hadn't been so certain I'd muck things up, I would have stayed home. Satisfied now?"

If Jo had been there, she would have smirked. As she wasn't, Daniel did it for her.

That's my girl, he thought. Gotta have the last word, eh. Even if you're miles away...

The pattern of dialogue and narrative gives the effect of conversation and differing viewpoint, even though Daniel is the only one present. The story moves on.

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