Lesson 6: Dialogue.
This lesson shows how to create and handle dialogue.
Dialogue with a Purpose.
Dialogue to show Character.
Move it Along.
Differentiating Voice.
Writing exercise.
Dialogue with a Purpose.
DIALOGUE.
Dialogue is the speech or conversation in a story, and, as with plot and character, it cannot be copied directly from real life.
Real life dialogue has a number of functions.
To reveal information.
"Hey Mum, I'm just going down to the shops."
"I left the bucket by the door."
"If I'm elected, I'll vote for the amended bill."
To acknowledge comment.
"Yes, I got that."
"No, it hasn't come yet."
And the supremely irritating; "I hear what you're saying."
To gain information.
"Dad, where did you put the towel?"
"What's the capital of Tibet?"
To propose a course of action.
"If we go to the beach, we could take sandwiches."
"Let's eat at the seafood place."
To express emotion.
"I'm really nervous about this."
"I hate that!"
To discuss ideas and opinions.
"Wouldn't it be interesting if we could fly?"
"If Grant gets in, things will be better."
To make contact.
"Hello, I'm Debbie."
"Oh, there you are!"
To fill in time.
"Nice day, isn't it?"
"I was there the other day and I met Sukie."
These are legitimate samples of everyday dialogue, but they don't make riveting reading. The real difference between real dialogue and effective dialogue in fiction is that real dialogue is often nothing but chatter or social oil, while effective fictional dialogue always has a purpose.
In fiction, the two main purposes of dialogue are said to be-
To reveal information.
To express character.
In my opinion there's a third purpose -
To break up long stretches of narrative.
DIALOGUE THAT REVEALS INFORMATION.
Dialogue that reveals information appears in place of exposition. For example; here is the same information, presented first as narrative exposition, then as dialogue and finally as what is called inner dialogue.
1. Penny Ponds drove to her mother's house, which was down by the river. Her mother had lived in the house for six years, ever since the death of Penny's father. Penny thought it was time Myra Ponds moved closer in to town, but Myra always refused. That made Penny impatient.
2. "I'm going to Mother's house," said Penny Ponds, as she got into her car. "Do you want to come?"
"Sure!" Stephen jumped into the passenger seat. "Er- where is it?"
Penny sighed. "Down by the river, unfortunately. I wish she'd move closer into town."
"Has she been there long?"
"Six years," said Penny. "Ever since my father died."
3. I wish Mother would move closer into town, thought Penny Ponds as she drove down towards the river. This independence thing is all very well, but Dad's been dead six years. It'd save so much time if I didn't have to traipse all the way out here when I need to see her.
The same basic information is given each time, but the tone is different. Penny comes across as the same character each time, but when we have the information in dialogue the passage is both longer and more accessible.
What do we learn from the three passages? In the first passage, we learn that Penny's mother is called Myra, and that she lives down by the river. We learn that she has lived there for six years, and that Penny's father has been dead that long. We learn that Penny wishes Myra would move closer to town and also that Penny is probably not married, since she shares her mother's surname. Finally, we learn that Penny can drive a car.
In the second passage, the information is the same, except that we do not learn that Penny is unmarried nor discover her mother's name. We do learn that she knows and likes someone called Stephen.
In the third passage, we do not learn that Penny is unmarried, nor that she knows someone called Stephen. We do not learn her mother's name. However, we do learn that Mother lives far enough away that Penny has to drive there, and also that Mother's choice of dwelling has to do with her notions of independence.
All the passages deliver information clearly and capably, but the effect is not quite the same. Passages 2 and 3 seem more immediate, because we see/hear Penny's opinions rather than being told about them secondhand. We are not told outright that Penny is impatient, because her words and thoughts show this quite adequately.
Passage 2 would be useful as a way of introducing Stephen if he is to be an important character in the story. He is obviously not a close relative or long-standing friend, because he needs to ask how long Penny's mother has lived by the river. Further conversation between the two would probably reveal their relationship and point to further interaction.
Passage 3 gives us Penny's opinions quite well, and functions just as dialogue would. Note that Penny does not "think to herself". No character should ever think to him/herself unless s/he is telepathic and so might be thinking to someone else!
This information-delivering dialogue is sometimes called "expository dialogue". When used well, it can be very effective. When used badly, it can be a disaster.
BAD EXPOSITORY DIALOGUE.
Expository dialogue is used badly when two characters tell one another things they already know. For example, let's say Stephen and Penny are brother and sister.
4. "I'm going to Mother's house," said Penny Ponds, as she got into her car. "Do you want to come?"
"Sure!" Her brother Stephen jumped into the passenger seat.
Penny sighed. "I wish she'd move closer into town."
"How long has she been there now?" asked Stephen.
"Six years, she's been down there by the river!"
"Ever since Father died," said Stephen.
This is just passable, but on the whole internal dialogue is better than poorly presented expository dialogue.
