Homeschooling 101

Lesson 7: Everything in Its Place: Getting Your House in Order

Goal Setting

When we help our children to set goals, to work for the things they truly want, we instill a sense of pride and a good work ethic.

When we decided to work on goal setting with our children, we consulted a few friends. A behaviorist, Steve, pointed out that children get very easily overwhelmed by too much of anything, including toys. And they just can’t absorb so many choices. His advice? Keep it simple stupid. We started by emptying all 3-toy chests of toys. We then put back the 3 toys they each used most. The rest we donated. Did they cry, beg, plead and tantrum? You bet! But we were very, very firm about this, and committed to turning this around. Next, we set up three large plastic jars, and told them, they could earn anything they wanted by behaving, picking up their rooms and showing concern for others. We asked each of them what they wanted to work for, and made that a goal. I made up three large graphs for their rooms, and filled in as they neared the finish line. They quickly got into the goal setting, and now routinely start new goals for things. As they reach 8 or 9 years of age, we began adding “magic” money to their jars, for acts of unselfishness or kindnesses. They never are told it’s been added, but when they discover extra money and ask, we discuss why it’s been given. This has made a huge difference in their outlook on life. They’ve gone from being whiney, spoiled, petulant little gimmes, to caring, helpful happy kids. Instead of getting confused messages from us about values, they have a much clearer sense of direction. And they value what they do receive so much more.

They’ve learned to enjoy the anticipation of reaching a goal, and like to daydream about future goals. Children need this. It’s important to their character development, and better prepares them to face the disappointments and delays life deals them.

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