Homeschooling 101

Lesson 6: Creative solutions for difficult situations

Dealing With Criticism

My husband’s family are the most intelligent people on earth. They know everything about everything, so, therefore, are never wrong… about anything. They know what is best for my children, and no one, especially “the likes of me” can tell them differently. (Please read with tongue planted firmly in cheek.) As soon as you announce to the world that you are going to homeschool, you are opening yourself up for criticism. How do you deal with it? How do you explain that homeschooling will work, and it is what is best for your family? This may come as a shock to you, and might just be controversial enough to ban me from homeschooling message boards all over the Internet, but I am here to say, once in for all… you don’t have to argue with anyone! You don’t have to answer to anyone (except maybe your local school district, depending on your state laws.) Ok… so you don’t have to argue, or explain. But in the real world, your mother in law is still going to bombard you with (at the least) questions and (worst case scenario) criticism. At the grocery store, you will get looks, and comments like “Schools out today?” You will soon find that criticism comes from different directions, in different forms, that require different responses from you. (Although, in any case, the best way to handle criticism is to listen politely and avoid defensive reactions.)

What should you do about critical or skeptical family members? It is important to keep in mind that most family members are critical or skeptical simply out of a loving concern for your child. Take the time to educate your family about homeschooling. Give them the statistics. Tell them what a day is like. Ask them to come and observe you for a day. All of these things will go a long way toward reassuring family about your homeschooling decision. But remember… don’t argue or make excuses. Your lack of confidence in your decision is just the fuel their misguided fire needs.

What should you do about critical or skeptical strangers? An important thing to keep in mind when dealing with strangers is that the “Schools out today?” comment is probably not meant to criticize or put you on the defensive. Most likely, it is just an honest attempt at conversation, in an otherwise awkward situation. (Standing in the grocery line can seem like an eternity when staring at the back of someone’s head.) Focus on the issues and don’t acknowledge sarcasm. Don’t overreact. Toss a few statistics their way, and it is usually enough. You will probably not change their minds, so trying only sets you up for failure.

Homeschoolers no longer need be afraid of getting into trouble for teaching their kids at home. We can be proud of our decision to homeschool and secure in that decision.

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