Parenting 101

Lesson 8: Acting Out

Cutting School

You’re busy at work, swamped as usual, when the school calls. Your child has not been in school for the last week. Upset and angry, you leave and return home. You find your child in bed with someone, a bottle of booze on the floor.

Or a friend calls and tells you that she’s seen your child at another friend's home during school hours. You drive over there and find a group of kids stoned on grass. Unusual? No, it happens everyday, somewhere in the US.

Why does it happen? Peer pressure, boredom, difficulty in school, and opportunity. Whatever the reason, the child has betrayed your trust in a profound way. In the first two examples cited, the child needs to be told in no uncertain terms what the consequences will be. All privileges should be removed, and an arrangement made with the school to verify daily and HOURLY attendance. Yes, class by class. I had a foster child who was clever enough to attend her homeroom and first period class. She would cut the class before lunch, return for the class just after and disappear for the rest of the day. Having each teacher sign her slip daily reinforced her accountability.

Drive the child or have her driven to school each day, and picked up. If the cutting continues, see what afterschool programs are available through your local police department and arrange for attendance.

For a child who is experiencing bullying or great difficulty with a teacher or classes in general, an effort needs to be made to correct the situation. Talking with the guidance counselor and staff can be very helpful. Talk with your child and ask for solutions. It may be a different school or course of studies is needed. This is especially true if the child has been pushed beyond their limits academically. This can be a bitter pill to swallow, but parents need to recognize their child’s individuality and limitations.

Unless there is a very serious underlying problem, cutting school is not that serious an issue if it only happens once or twice. The limits still need to be enforced, but in most cases, the child is simply testing to see what will happen.

Think about how you would handle your child’s cutting school. What penalties would you enforce for this behavior?

  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8