Lesson 2: Effective Parenting
Teaching Your Child To Respect You
I’ve been in too many homes where a child shows little to no respect for his parents. Children as young as three and as old as ten routinely scream, kick or hit their parents, destroy their property and generally show no regard for their feelings. Why?
In our first lesson, we looked at how our own behavior impacts our kids. That is part of the answer. But the other part lies in lazy parenting. For many parents, it is easier to “give in” than to stand firm on an issue. These children have learned early on that if they keep on battering down the parent’s refusal, they will get what they want. As a result, they see their parents as weak. Not good.
I’ve seen children climb up on kitchen counters to get at something they want, damage furniture by jumping on it, destroy VCR’s and video games because they could. They have no respect either for their parents or for anyone else. The parents may yell: “you’re going to be sorry”, “I’m going to spank you”, or you won’t get anything else from me”, and then never follow through.
A lazy, ineffectual parent can be just as damaging to a child as an abusive parent is. Not enforcing an acceptable standard of behavior and teaching a child to be respectful can have far reaching consequences. Many of these children carry on this behavior outside their homes. At school, teachers have difficulty getting them to listen. Other children have a hard time dealing with their disruptive and destructive behaviors.
Respect is taught by example and an insistence that the child respect you as a human being. Allowing a child to hit you is unacceptable. The child should be taken to their room. I was at a relative's home when the phone rang. She answered, and her 6 year old daughter walked up and hit her across the back as hard as she could. I immediately took her to her room and explained to her that hitting Mommy was unacceptable. That this was the only mother she would ever have, and she needed to be respected. How sad, that I had to be the one to explain this to her.
Teach your children to honor you as their parent, and to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Exercise: Does your child treat you with respect? If not, why? Develop a plan for changing this into a positive thing for both of you.
