Parenting 101

Lesson 3: Family Time

Developing Guidelines For Communication

Every family needs to have some guidelines for communicating with each other. Too often courtesy and good manners are reserved for “outside” the family. Rarely, if ever, are please and thank you heard to accompany a request. Unruly children scream their demands, parents shout in return, and chaos ensues.

Courtesy begins at home. Parents need to preface requests with a please, say thank you and you are welcome. Children will normally follow this example. If they don’t, their request should be ignored, until it is made in a polite manner.

If your child shouts a request or demands something, they should be removed from the room until their voice is lowered. If they are not taught the appropriate way to ask for things, they will have problems.

There are times when both parent and child are tired, angry or upset. When this happens, it’s better to try and settle the child down with a book or crayons, while you go and try and unwind. These are the times when parents end up shouting at their children. Leave the room and create some space for the both of you. Wash your face, take a deep breath and try to find something relaxing to do. You both may still be tense or upset, but your child will react to you trying to calm yourself down. Sometimes, I’ve found just hugging my child helps defuse a potentially volatile situation. I can physically feel the stress leaving me as I hold a small child in my arms. Try this the next time you find yourself in this situation.

How important are manners to your family?

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