Lesson 6: Building Anger Management Skills
The Bullying Child
Bullying hurts. Most of us can remember at least one incident in our childhoods that involved a bully. Children will walk miles out of their way to avoid being terrified or hurt. And they seldom talk about it.
What causes a child to become a bully? It’s hard to say. Some children have abusive parents who call them sissies and other names, and the child in turn does the same to other, smaller children. Having no safe place to vent their hurt and rage, they lash out at those who are weaker and more helpless than they are.
Parents who are bullies themselves can produce bullies. If the children see Mom or Dad bully people and get away with it, they may decide this is acceptable behavior. Many of these parents are violently racist, have religious prejudices or are homophobic. They teach their children these same ugly attitudes, which then carry over to the school and playground.
Finally, there are children who bully because they were allowed to get away with it from a very early age. Most children try and bully a bit during early childhood. Usually peer disapproval and parental intervention show them this is not a good way to behave.
Bullying leads to tragedy, as we have seen in the rash of school shootings. It can lead to murder, suicide and permanent emotional scars for the victims. If the bullying is because of race, religion or sexual preferences, it can be classified as a hate crime, leading to severe penalties.
If you know your child is a bully, your responsibility is to help change this behavior. If you can’t handle it by yourself, you need to seek professional guidance.
Were you ever bullied? If so, what feelings does the memory call up? Ask your child if he has ever been bullied, and try and get him to share his feelings with you.
