Lesson 5: Setting Goals
Long Range Goals
Long range goals to a toddler only go as far as going to McDonald's in 5 minutes. But older children are certainly capable of understanding long range goals. These can be personal or family goals, but it is important to have them. Why? Because by having them, a child learns to plan ahead. It also shows them that even though some things seem impossible to attain, with careful planning they can be accomplished.
An older child may have goals like: college, buying a car, or planning a trip. These should be encouraged and supported whenever possible. When a child falters or gets frustrated with trying to reach his goal, find examples of people who did achieve wonderful things with courage and determination. Use your own family stories to provide him with a sense of history.
Share your own frustrations and disappointments in your attempts to reach your own long range goals. Be honest about what happened and why. Children need this sense of belonging. It helps them feel less like they are the only ones going through this. Once they understand this is a normal and expected feeling, they often can refocus on their goals.
When a child fails to meet a much desired goal, it is very important that he get support and reassurance, especially if it was not of his own doing. Point out that part of growing up includes the possibility of not being able to accomplish everything you planned on doing. It is important for children to understand that the trying counts as much as the actual accomplishment. A sincere and honest attempt at something is better than not trying at all.
Praise them for their courage and suggest interim goals to rebuild their confidence. That praise will go a long way towards helping him get back up to try again.
How would you go about helping your child set up long range goals? Do you have any yourself?
