Parenting 101

Lesson 4: Character Development

Sadly, children's character development has been neglected over the last 30 years. Yet, nothing is more critical to raising a healthy, productive adult. This lesson will provide you with valuable tools and guidelines for developing the positive aspects of your child's personality.

Learning How To Make Ethical Choices

We are not born with a system of ethics built in to our characters. Nor are we inherently moral people. A system of ethics and morals has to be taught to a child. Sadly, this aspect of a child's development is often overlooked. Our schools and prisons are filled with the result of this lack of character development.

How do we begin to encourage an ethical awareness in our children? First, a belief in someone or something greater than self has to be taught. Even if we as parents hold no strong religious beliefs, our children need exposure to some sort of belief system. This helps them begin to understand that there is a cause and effect to everything we do. This is a wonderful tool you can use to augment this lesson.

http://www.saferchild.org/morality.htm

There are children’s bibles and stories available everywhere. These are useful tools for parents to use. It might start with explaining the true meaning of Christmas or by exposing them to the Ten Commandments. As children listen, they see that there is a basic set of standards that need to be met. Religion is not belief. It is not necessary for those who don’t want involvement in organized religion to involve their children. Encouraging belief in God starts on a very personal level, at home usually. I know many parents who are agnostic and still manage to teach their children to believe.

Once a child begins to grasp the idea of accountability, you can then begin to teach him, using TV or books, what an acceptable standard of behavior is. Often, in our home, while watching the news or a crime program, we will discuss the ethical choices the criminal had. We might point out he had a choice not to commit the crime, or use his childhood as an excuse. We always stress accountability. When we hear about suffering in other parts of the world, we encourage the boys to see we are responsible for those less fortunate.

Events in our community bring many ethical lessons home in a closer way. When a local bank was forced to close down due to a continued string of robberies, we discussed how the actions of 2 individuals impacted many lives. A young drunk driver wiped out a carload of bright, promising young students, ruining the lives of 6 families in an instant. These events were powerful tools for helping them see that one action can cause many, many unforeseen reactions.

In order for children to fulfill all the promise they possess, they need to be given the tools to build strong characters.

Have you ever given thought to how to help your own child develop a system of ethics? How did or would you go about it?

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