Parenting 101

Lesson 1: The Parental Role

Personal Values

As rational adults, we all hold personal values. We believe in individual freedom, morality, integrity or in a Supreme Being. Our children are the product of our value system, right or wrong. Too often, we don’t give enough thought to the way we communicate these values to our children.

Someone brought a perfect example of this lack of thought to my attention. A parent, who held no firm religious belief herself, felt her children would still benefit from regular church attendance. She would accompany them to the service every Sunday. While they participated, she read a book. Now, what kind of message was she sending to her children?

A former neighbor of mine was always carping to her children about honesty. Yet this same woman regularly switched tags on clothing to get a better deal, or would wear an outfit once, then return it. Co-workers in my husband's firm regularly “borrow” equipment, paper and anything else from the office. Somehow it never gets returned.

Yet, if asked about it, most if not all of these individuals would protest loudly that they hold high personal values. “Everybody does it” or “we all need to get what we can” are typical attitudes. What does this tell our children?

Think of how the mother in our first example might have handled her situation differently.

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