Lesson 6: Suicide Prevention
Helping Another in Crisis
You may find yourself with the tables turned, where someone else is in crisis and with you needing to keep your wits about you. In this situation:
Be Aware
- According to studies, 75 percent of all those who commit suicide indicate their deep despair beforehand. All but maybe ten percent are sane people who might have responded to help.
- Take very seriously any possible signs of major depressive illness. These may include fatigue, weight gain or loss, and feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. A child or teen-ager may feel more hyper or agitated than usual.
- Keep in mind that any number of situational events can bring on thoughts of suicide, with or without major depression, events such as: marriage breakup, death in the family, difficult birthdays or anniversaries or holidays, or loss of employment.
- Watch out for sudden changes in behavior. These may include:
- In your child, declining performance in school.
- In others: declining interest in previously enjoyed activities, neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.
- In the elderly, self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.
- Take very seriously any signs of suicidal behavior. These may include: explicit statements about suicide, acting-out behavior such as rehearsals or mini-attempts, self-inflicted injuries, reckless behavior, making out a will, giving away possessions, inappropriately saying goodbye, and odd verbal behavior (such as "you won't have to worry about me, anymore").
Things To Say and Not Say
Five things to say to a severely depressed or possibly suicidal person:
- "I hear you."
- "I understand."
- "I love you."
- "You're not alone."
- "Would you like me to get help?"
Five things not to say to a severely depressed or possibly suicidal person:
- "You'll snap out of it."
- "It's just a phase."
- "Stop being so selfish."
- "You're just trying to get attention."
- "You gotta pick yourself up by your own bootstraps."
Planning Ahead
If you are living at home with a depressed person, you can cooperate by making the house as safe as you can.
In an Actual Crisis
- Listen. Do not be judgmental. Allow the person to vent his or her anger or frustration.
- Ask if he or she is planning to commit suicide, or has a plan. This gives the person another chance to vent his or her concerns and allows you to gauge the nature of his or her intentions. This question is a fairly standard one, and apparently will not trigger an actual attempt.
- Do not leave the person alone, once you have determined he or she is suicidal.
- Try to convince the person to seek help. The fact that he or she is talking to you is a start. Offer to make the necessary arrangements if you think that will get the ball rolling.
- Remind the person, if necessary, that seeking help for depression no longer carries the stigma it once did, that going for help is not a sign of weakness, and that the chances for recovery are excellent.
- Be suspicious of any rapid improvements in the person's condition. The individual may be faking recovery in order that you drop your guard.
Finally, remember: One day you may find yourself in the same situation.
National (US) Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE
